Your Body Doesn’t Feel Safe (And You Didn’t Even Know It)

0:00 What if the reason you can't relax has nothing to do with your schedule

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and everything to do with the fact that your body still doesn't feel safe?

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Have you ever noticed that even when life settles down, you don't?

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You finally get a quiet moment. The emails are answered. The kids are fine.

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Work is under control.

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And yet you're And yet you're still bracing for something to go wrong.

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If that's you, you're not broken.

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And you're definitely not alone. I'm Kathleen Flanigan and I am an emotional freedom guide. I am also the author of

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the Dancing Souls trilogy and the host of The Journey of an Awakening Spirit.

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I help women who appear strong and successful on the outside reconnect with themselves on the inside

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so they can stop surviving and start living.

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Today we're talking about something most women never realize.

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Your body may still be carrying the weight of the old stress, the old fear, old survival patterns long after the

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danger has passed. And by the end of today's show, you'll understand why this happens and learn a simple practice that

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can help your body begin feeling safe again.

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Stay with me because the exercise at the end can change the way you move through your entire day.

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Hold on one second. Everything decided to change around on me again. I'm trying to fix it. There we go.

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Apologize.

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Getting used to this new system that I have.

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So maybe you've said things like, "I should be happy. I don't know what's wrong with me.

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2 minutes, 29 seconds

Life is good. Why am I still anxious?" I hear this all the time. Women tell me,

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2 minutes, 37 seconds

"I'm exhausted. I can't turn my brain off. I feel disconnected.

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I don't even know who I am anymore." And then they feel guilty for feeling

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that way because from the outside everything looks fine. But here's what most people don't realize.

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Your body doesn't care what your resume says. Your nervous system doesn't care how successful you are.

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Your body only cares about one thing. Am I safe?

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And if your life has taught you that, you always have to be strong. You always have to perform and you always have to

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take care of everyone else. Your body learns something.

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It learns that resting isn't safe.

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Slowing down isn't safe. Letting go isn't safe. So even when life improves,

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your body keeps preparing for the next storm.

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The danger may be gone, but your body never got the message.

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There was a time in my own life when I couldn't understand why I felt anxious all the time. I wasn't in crisis.

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Nothing terrible was happening. Yet, my body felt like it was waiting for impact.

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And what I discovered changed everything.

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4 minutes, 27 seconds

I wasn't reacting to the present. I was reacting to years of Bible and many of

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4 minutes, 34 seconds

us learn so well that we forgot how to feel safe

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4 minutes, 42 seconds

and let I'm going to let that sink in for just a moment.

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4 minutes, 49 seconds

What I want you to understand in this as well is I don't think I really understood to the

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4 minutes, 56 seconds

depth of where I was at in my life and having the nervous system changes

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5 minutes, 4 seconds

happen until after my father died. And it was just recently that I started to realize

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5 minutes, 10 seconds

that my father I was still grieving. And not that I feel like I'm grieving, but I think it's just the way the body is.

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5 minutes, 19 seconds

Because when I when he first passed, I just remember the shoulders dropping.

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5 minutes, 23 seconds

And I remember going, "Wow, I'm free to walk around the cabin. I'm not looking over my shoulders." And it was like, "Wow, this is really an interesting

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5 minutes, 30 seconds

feeling." And I got used to it. I did go into an identity crisis. I did feel suicidal. I

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5 minutes, 39 seconds

did not know who I was because you know when you're in a survival mode your whole life and you're always looking over your shoulder. When that threat

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5 minutes, 48 seconds

leaves all of a sudden you realize you have this identity that you have been carrying your whole life and didn't even know it. So that was the first thing. So

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5 minutes, 57 seconds

yes, I did the crying, I did the anger, I did all the things that I was supposed to do in the grieving process and I understood the bigger picture and I got

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6 minutes, 5 seconds

a lot of insight about the bigger picture and all of that and that was fine and dandy.

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6 minutes, 11 seconds

When the when the water heater broke is when I started to realize that I'm in a

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6 minutes, 17 seconds

whole new level of nervous system reset because I was still on guard. I'm still

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6 minutes, 24 seconds

protecting and that detox that I took and did have a lot to do.

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6 minutes, 33 seconds

I do not know what is going on with this today. Anyways, so

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6 minutes, 41 seconds

the detox allowed me to see what had been coming up because I sat with it. I was with it. I was being

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6 minutes, 50 seconds

with whatever it was. And there was I was exhausted in the month of May. I did not do anything. Saul was gone for the whole month and I was like a boob on a

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6 minutes, 58 seconds

log is what it felt like because I was so physically, mentally, spiritually exhausted. I mean, everything that I could be tired about, I was. And I just

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7 minutes, 7 seconds

took my time and just gave myself grace and just sat with where I was at. I didn't get angry. I didn't get pissy. I

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7 minutes, 16 seconds

didn't think I was worthless. I didn't think anything. I just sat with where I was because I understood at that moment

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7 minutes, 24 seconds

that there was a trauma in my body that I needed to release and I needed to allow it the space to just come up and

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7 minutes, 32 seconds

be gone. And I remember there were times when I was thinking, "Oh my god, where did you come from? And how long have you

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7 minutes, 40 seconds

been here?" And it was like little puffs of dark smoke to me is how I looked at it that

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7 minutes, 48 seconds

just came up. They were just thought forms and I just observed them. I didn't do anything else. I just observed what they were, where they came from, and why they were doing what they were doing.

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8 minutes

And I just let it go because a lot of the things that were happening in that period of time was also like I was a

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8 minutes, 9 seconds

little kid. The way I was like talking or feeling or thinking was so childlike.

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8 minutes, 15 seconds

And I realized that whatever this trauma was inside of here was what was going on

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8 minutes, 22 seconds

as a little kid. And I had to allow that little child to come up and be okay with

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8 minutes, 29 seconds

that because I was listening. I was hearing her. I was trying to do my best to nurture her and let her know that she

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8 minutes, 37 seconds

is now safe. But see, we do this when we are in trauma. When we don't understand anything, it just becomes a cellular

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8 minutes, 46 seconds

memory and it sits in our bodies until something triggers it. And that water heater triggered so many things. It

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8 minutes, 54 seconds

allowed the grief to come back up. It allowed another level because I was on a call on Sunday and the woman said, you

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9 minutes, 2 seconds

know, it's like the deeper we go cuz healing is a journey. It's you're never going to be done with it. It's a journey and you're going to keep going through.

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9 minutes, 9 seconds

And so what I felt when she said this and it made perfect sense is like because I knew I got to the layer of the onions. I've know I've gotten to the center of the onion, but now I'm at a

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9 minutes, 18 seconds

whole new level of the center of the onion. And she said, "It gets really juicy right there and it's all real nice and it's all compact and it's like your tears come up and all these things start

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9 minutes, 26 seconds

happening when all this is happening." And I'm like, "Oh my god, that is so what I've been going through is a whole new level of release.

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9 minutes, 37 seconds

And in that process, I also started thinking, well, what if that's the only reason I'm here on the earth? Now, I

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9 minutes, 45 seconds

know I'm here for other reasons, but it still came up of what if I'm that's the main purpose is to heal ourselves.

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9 minutes, 54 seconds

not do more, not be more, not be angry, not be all the things that we've been

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10 minutes

doing in our lives, but to actually just heal and really because this is a

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10 minutes, 8 seconds

perfect opportunity to really take that into into consideration because in this lifetime, I feel like

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10 minutes, 16 seconds

aside from all the trauma that I had gotten, I've also spent my entire adult

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10 minutes, 24 seconds

life trying to heal it and I've gotten very far. I've moved a lot. I feel like there is a part of me that's in other

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10 minutes, 32 seconds

lifetimes because we do carry all of this until we do understand it. But we keep perpetuating what's happening to us

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10 minutes, 41 seconds

until we stop and look at it. And if we don't stop and look at it, you're running and you're going to stay in trauma and you're going to stay in

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10 minutes, 48 seconds

overload and overwhelm and you're going to become a so-called victim of the world even though you're not. You chose it.

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10 minutes, 57 seconds

There's going to be a lot of things that always keep repeating themselves. And I remember the first time when I decided I

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11 minutes, 5 seconds

was going to change that part is I wanted to be happy. And that's all I wanted. I wanted to be a better person.

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11 minutes, 11 seconds

And that was in 2008. I talk about this a lot. I didn't have any words of where I was at. I just wanted to be a better

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11 minutes, 19 seconds

person. I wanted to be in alignment with myself because the outside and the inside were so far apart. And I wanted them to come together.

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11 minutes, 28 seconds

And so I did. But it took a lot to really own up to that. And when my father passed is when it went into a

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11 minutes, 36 seconds

whole new level of a body, mind, spirit connection. It's bigger and and broader than I ever thought. It's all good and it's all fine.

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11 minutes, 46 seconds

But the one thing when I made that decision is when S showed up in my life.

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11 minutes, 52 seconds

And that was really important because I was always bringing my father into my life. Always. It didn't matter who the

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12 minutes

man was. He always had a different characteristic of my father. Now S could be my father

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12 minutes, 8 seconds

before he went crazy. I don't know. But he there is nothing to me about him that reminds me of my father at all.

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12 minutes, 18 seconds

And I wanted to be able to accept love and what it was like to receive love in

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12 minutes, 25 seconds

a healthy way and not in the way that I had always handled it. And so it was a

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12 minutes, 33 seconds

lot of work just for me to allow that person in and to allow myself to shut my

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12 minutes, 41 seconds

mouth, shut my mind and just be and observe. That was really a very difficult place. But I was so committed

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12 minutes, 49 seconds

in wanting to be better that I was going to do whatever it took. And believe me, I have been pushed beyond my limit

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12 minutes, 58 seconds

from all of this. And it's all okay because it's what I chose. It's what I designed.

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13 minutes, 7 seconds

And I'm okay with it because I needed to take the time. I needed to understand. I needed to like see this in such a

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13 minutes, 17 seconds

different way. And so that's why I talk so much right now about the nervous system. I'm not a parrot. I'm not chatt.

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13 minutes, 25 seconds

I'm not sitting here going out there and saying, "What's the latest bud buzzwords?" These are real. The things that I teach comes from my personal learning.

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13 minutes, 36 seconds

I've been there. I've done it. I'm still in it.

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13 minutes, 40 seconds

That's the thing that a lot of people don't. They always like, "Well, you know, back when." Well, no. I'm in it now. I'm still in it. I still struggle

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13 minutes, 48 seconds

at times about where I'm at, what I'm doing, and how I'm feeling.

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13 minutes, 53 seconds

And you know what? It's good. I mean, yesterday people asked like, "How you doing?" And I was like, I'm surviving life. And it wasn't in a negative

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14 minutes, 2 seconds

connotation. It was, I am surviving life. I'm not a victim. I don't feel like life is beating me up anymore. I'm

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14 minutes, 10 seconds

learning to survive. And now I'm wanting to move into thriving.

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14 minutes, 15 seconds

It's a progression. Healing is a progression. And we don't know how far we come until we look back and see where we were.

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14 minutes, 25 seconds

And I'm taking um I'm helping a woman in a beta program of a course that she's put together. And I could have written this course if I wanted to, but oh my

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14 minutes, 34 seconds

god, I would never want to. And what she's put together is absolutely

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14 minutes, 44 seconds

and what got me the most I think about what she's done is

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14 minutes, 53 seconds

she's lived it. That's apparent. She's she works her tools. That's very apparent, but it's what the world needs. And a lot

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15 minutes, 1 second

of people don't realize that they need this. And she put a this course together that just hits everything everywhere.

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15 minutes, 10 seconds

And I'm and I'm blown away by like what honesty and what people are trying to do because see, we're trying to evolve.

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15 minutes, 17 seconds

We're trying to ascend. And that's not something you do up here. It's not how much money you make. It's an energetic thing and that's where we're at. And

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15 minutes, 25 seconds

that's the people that I'm associating with is that we're in an energetic place. And as long as we're in an energetic place, that's when we start

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15 minutes, 34 seconds

shifting. That's when money starts coming in. That's where the alignment comes, where things are drawn to us. And that's what I really want to focus in on

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15 minutes, 42 seconds

of why this is so important to start stopping and slowing down.

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15 minutes, 49 seconds

So here's what happens when stress becomes normal.

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15 minutes, 54 seconds

Your body starts believing that's how life works. The nervous system becomes

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16 minutes

conditioned to expect pressure, to expect problems, to expect

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16 minutes, 8 seconds

disappointment, and peace starts feeling unfamiliar. And here's the strange part.

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16 minutes, 18 seconds

Sometimes fe peace feels more uncomfortable than chaos because chaos is what you practice.

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16 minutes, 27 seconds

And this is why some women stay busy all the time.

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16 minutes, 32 seconds

And this is why some women can't sit still.

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16 minutes, 37 seconds

And this is why some women feel guilty when they rest. Nothing is wrong with them.

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16 minutes, 45 seconds

Their nervous system is doing exactly what it learned to do.

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16 minutes, 51 seconds

And the beautiful news is your nervous system can learn something new.

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16 minutes, 57 seconds

You can teach your body that today is not yesterday.

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17 minutes, 3 seconds

You can teach your body that you are no longer trapped in old experiences.

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17 minutes, 11 seconds

And you can teach your body that it is safe to breathe. It is safe to soften.

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17 minutes, 20 seconds

It is safe to receive support.

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17 minutes, 27 seconds

So, do you struggle with slowing down or asking for help? I'd love to know in in today's message if this message is

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17 minutes, 35 seconds

speaking directly to your heart. And feel free to download my free light activation guide. That'll be in the show notes and it will be in the description.

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17 minutes, 44 seconds

And it's a simple resource designed to help you reconnect with yourself and create more calm, clarity, and inner peace.

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17 minutes, 57 seconds

So let's do something together right now. You don't need any special equipment.

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18 minutes, 5 seconds

You don't need any experience. You just need a few minutes.

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20 minutes, 22 seconds

Heat. Heat.

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22 minutes, 20 seconds

One of the hardest parts of healing is doing it alone.

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22 minutes, 25 seconds

And for years, I thought I had to figure everything out by myself. And maybe you do, too.

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22 minutes, 34 seconds

And maybe you've been carrying burdens nobody knows about.

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22 minutes, 39 seconds

Maybe you've become so good at being strong that nobody realizes how tired you are. And that's why I created the I

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22 minutes, 48 seconds

am the light sanctuary. A place where women can stop pretending, stop performing, stop carrying everything alone.

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23 minutes, 1 second

a place to reconnect with themselves, to heal, to grow, and to remember who they really are.

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23 minutes, 11 seconds

If your heart is saying yes, I'd love to welcome you and join us inside the sanctuary.

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23 minutes, 19 seconds

You don't have to walk this journey alone anymore.

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23 minutes, 29 seconds

If today's message helped you understand yourself a little more deeply, then we've accomplished something

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23 minutes, 37 seconds

important because awareness is where healing begins.

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Remember this, your body isn't fighting against you. It's trying to protect you.

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And now you can begin teaching it something new.

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That you are safe, that you are supported, and that you don't have to live in survival anymore.

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Next week, we're going to talk about something powerful, the hidden cost of being the strong one.

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And before you move on to the next thing, give yourself five minutes.

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Five minutes to stop performing. Five minutes to stop pushing. Five minutes to come back to yourself.

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The light activation guide was was created for the woman who is tired of being strong all the time.

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And inside you'll discover a simple daily practice that helps you feel calmer, more grounded, and more connected to yourself.

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24 minutes, 59 seconds

So download your free guide below and take the first step towards feeling like yourself again.

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And if you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, share, share it with a friend, and leave a comment below. And

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then until next time, be gentle with yourself. Your healing matters, and so do you.

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