What Happens When You Stop Pretending? The Truth That Sets You Free

Kathleen Flanagan (00:01)
Hello everyone and welcome to the journey of an awakening spirit. This is Kathleen Flanagan and today I have Alex Sanfilippo in the room with us. And Alex is a podcaster and the founder of podmatch.com. A platform that automatically matches podcast hosts and guests for interviews through Podmatch and his podcast titled, Podcasting Made Simple. Alex helps independent...

podcasters grow their influence and revenue so they can better serve their listeners. Welcome Alex.

Alex Sanfilippo (00:34)
Kathleen, thank you so much for having me. And by the way, I know my bio says the word podcast or podcasting a lot. Like it's all I do, but I always, no matter who says it, they're always like, man, podcasting that word's in here again. You know, like it's kind of funny.

Kathleen Flanagan (00:47)
Well,

I just have to say I'm going to let you introduce, I'm going to ask you a couple of questions. But the one thing I want everybody to know is that Alex has been an incredible mentor for me to starting this journey. I met him when before he even quit his job, I had met Alex and within five minutes of deciding to be a guest, I was on a show.

And when I decided to become a host within five minutes of going live, I had a guest. mean, this is, I can't say enough good things about PodMatch and Alex and his wife, Alicia, because they are such amazing, kind, giving people. And I highly recommend anybody, if you want to join this, I've got a link below to join PodMatch because this is gold.

And it's just run so efficiently and he provides so much information and he's helped me navigate when I lost Bold Brave TV and he kind of helped navigate me into what do I do? Because being on this side of the mic without an engineer was a lot different.

Alex Sanfilippo (01:40)
Thank you.

Kathleen Flanagan (01:59)
So Alex, I'm gonna have you just introduce yourself. I'm not gonna go down necessarily your journey of an awakening because we already know that journey, but I want people to know a little bit more about you. And then I am going to start asking questions because this is all about wins and you've had some pretty phenomenal wins. And it's also going to be an amazing teaching tool because I don't think any of us ever look at wins like this either.

Alex Sanfilippo (02:25)
Yeah, well, thank you again for the platform having me here. And I actually, if you don't mind, I just want to go back to something you just said, that within five minutes you had an opportunity to be a guest and then within five minutes you had an opportunity to be a host and have a guest on. Listen, like I am honored to Kathleen to be able to do a little bit of mentoring on the podcasting side of things with you. Like, and I just really respect the fact that you do seek wise counsel, not just with me. You're like the type of person that says, okay, I help people, but I also know that I need help. And that's one of things I respect the most about you and you take action.

For me, people are like, Alex, will you help me? I'm like, yes, but you have to do something. Even if something means, Alex, no, I'm not gonna do that, that counts as something, but you gotta do something. And you've always been something, every time we talk, you're like, cool, I've got an idea, I'm gonna go take action. And you just implement and you keep on innovating. And I think it's just, it's part of what makes being able to call you a friend and watch you over the last, what, five and a half years, maybe we've known each other? yeah, something like that, yeah. Being able to watch you continuously level up and grow. And I just respect it so much.

Kathleen Flanagan (03:14)
Something like that, yeah.

Alex Sanfilippo (03:22)
I know that's not what you asked me to talk about, but I just had, I have the platform. had to me a chance to say it real quick. So yeah, no problem. ⁓ Anyway, now onto the point, yeah, a bit more about me. I'm a corporate guy before I was a full-time podcaster. So I did 15 years in big corporate, loved it. Someone who really had like a fun experience. And then on December 7th, 2020 went full-time with what was my side hustle at that point, which was pod match that Kathleen already talked about.

Kathleen Flanagan (03:24)
Well, no, well, I thank you for that. I do.

Alex Sanfilippo (03:47)
And I've been doing that full time since and the whole idea once again is can we connect podcasts, guests and hosts quickly and make sure that it's the right fit and just do our best to automate as much as the administrative process is possible while also helping show hosts earn a little revenue and also grow their show. We're working really hard to make things really great, especially for the podcast host. And not that we're trying to exclude our guests by any means, but we've just found that if the show does really good, the guest usually does really good if they're on it. So it kind of turns into a big win-win.

And so for me, I'm just really focused on the independent side of podcasting. We don't work with any celebrity type podcast, something more like against it. We've just never tried to seek that out. We just do our best to help the individuals that are really serving the world and making a better place. And for us, if we can, again, put a little bit money in their pocket, bring a little bit more people to it, simplify the process for them, it helps them be able to create better content for the people they're serving. And I think that ultimately makes the world a better place. And so that is what I consider my purpose to be in life at this point. And it's just an honor to be here.

Kathleen Flanagan (04:43)
Well, I have to tell you, I got really excited about this yesterday because, know, I know we're not supposed to look at our numbers, but I do. And since July 15th is when I went live independently, I am five downloads to be 25 % in the rankings in podcasting. Thank you. And I went on to YouTube because, you know, YouTube is a

Alex Sanfilippo (05:06)
Congratulations.

Kathleen Flanagan (05:14)
kind of face to try to grow your channel. Yeah.

Alex Sanfilippo (05:14)
That is the right way to say what YouTube is.

If you look in the dictionary, that's what the words next to YouTube says.

Kathleen Flanagan (05:21)
Yeah,

65.1 % YouTube is pushing me out in there since July. I know. So I am so shocked. And the other thing that you helped me was, you know, because everybody has a story. And I learned to say no. And I loved it. And I was bringing I was going to bring somebody on and I last week and I just I just couldn't it was like, No, no, no.

Alex Sanfilippo (05:30)
Wow, okay, very good. That's amazing.

Kathleen Flanagan (05:51)
I can't, can't, can't, so I canceled. And I didn't feel real bad about it, but I also learned about staying with the brand really strongly. you bring out, this is another plug for PodMatch people. He brings out people that help us become better hosts. And I think that's really important too, is that there's so much information that Alex does for us. And it just, brought this one.

guest on and it was like, my God, you just made my life so easy because of what she said and I implemented it immediately. again, thank you for what you do because I just want to be a better guest. I know that I'm quirky. know I do weird shit on my show. I cuss every now and then.

Alex Sanfilippo (06:32)
Yeah.

No, you're just fine. You can call whatever you want. It's just

fine. It's a good time. I think that the reason that your show has done so good on both audio and video, clearly it's done really well in both places, is because you're fun and people like that energy. They like the vibe that you put off. And it's one of the reasons I've always enjoyed being able to listen to you and learn from you myself. ⁓ saying no, by the way, that is for me, I'm naturally people-pleaser. That is such a hard thing to do. So I'm so glad that you're also learning it. I feel like, like I could not be a mentor.

teaching people how to say no. I'm a student of learning to do that, but it's ⁓ so important and you gotta trust, we gotta trust our gut, right? If we feel like there's something off, we owe it to our listeners to say no. And I'm saying this while I'm still someone struggling with it, but it's encouraging to hear that you were able to do that. That will help me with my next one, knowing that.

Kathleen Flanagan (07:26)
Well, yeah,

and I do, get a lot of people because you actually had somebody that came on the show about the high, the high people coming, wanting to come on your show. And believe it or not, I don't really answer them because they're not through pod match because I don't want to do much without pod match. But it's amazing how many people are coming towards me and they're big names in their industry, but they're not a big name to me. And they may have some good stuff and other things. It's like they're just like

excuse me, why are you coming on my show? Why do you want to be on my show? So it's just interesting because I'm really, I'm very integrous about my show. I'm very protective of my show. And I know you taught us to be that kind of person. So I mean, it's just so many little things and they're all little, but they're huge. They're really huge in.

Alex Sanfilippo (08:18)
Right. Yep.

Kathleen Flanagan (08:22)
a growth aspect because I certainly didn't realize that being on Bold Brave TV, I was hiding behind it without even knowing it until I did this and I'm just blown away. But then I also had 41,000 downloads before the show went under too, so.

Alex Sanfilippo (08:40)
You're gonna I know you're gonna be right back to that point. It might take a little bit, but you're building on a stronger foundation, right? So and it's your own. You've you've already proven just since July of 2025 that you you're worthy and you can do this. And again, I think in a year from now, we'll have another conversation and it'll be hopefully surpassing that that point that they were doing with you. But again, you've just got a solid foundation now and I think it's great.

Kathleen Flanagan (08:45)
Totally.

Yep. Yep,

I know. think it's great. So I want to talk about what was one of the biggest wins that you had this year or what did you think the year was going to look like based on the win that you were thinking you would, you know, the goal, so to speak.

Alex Sanfilippo (09:18)
Yeah, I feel like I've had a lot of wins this year. But I'm so grateful. I'll be just fully transparent though when I started the year off, not that I was thinking it was gonna be a year of losses. I just really in my mind believed it was gonna be a year where I had to build. Like where it was gonna be a lot of in the dark and it has been to some extent where it's like working the background, the dark, no pad on the back, right? Just keep it going and that maybe next year, 2026 was gonna be like my breakout year, right?

Kathleen Flanagan (09:21)
I know you did.

Alex Sanfilippo (09:47)
And, ⁓ man, like I just had so many little great things happen that compounded the winds got bigger and bigger and bigger. And there are, there's so many I could mention now, Kathleen, does one in particular come to mind for you? Cause I got a couple in my mind, but is there one that you think would be best for us to cover that you know of?

Kathleen Flanagan (10:07)
the one that you won the Webby Awards.

Alex Sanfilippo (10:11)
Yes,

okay, cool. Listen, again, just full transparency, I'm not great at talking about my wins. I don't want to ever sound prideful or anything like that. So even posting that, was like, I was like, is this icky? I want to celebrate. Is it icky? Thank you. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, we got nominated by ⁓ the Webbies, which is for anyone who isn't in the, I guess, online space, it's kind of like, I don't know,

Kathleen Flanagan (10:24)
No, it was exciting! I mean, you deserved it. You worked hard to get here.

Alex Sanfilippo (10:40)
Kathleen and I compared to like the Oscars or the Grammys type of thing, But for, yeah, it's comparable with those, for like online businesses and podcasts and stuff like that. so this like award plaque shows up and it comes with it. It's like a note from the CEO of it, which I was like, didn't expect. I was kind of like, I opened up and like, whoa, like I knew what the Webbies were. We had previously like signed up with them and stuff like that, but it had been a long time.

Kathleen Flanagan (10:43)
Yep, it is.

Alex Sanfilippo (11:10)
And so like, didn't really think anything of it, but it shows up. then like what meant more than like the actual like frame and the plaque itself that we took, I took a picture with it's on, you can find it just about anywhere online. I feel like you're typing pod match, Webby award, ⁓ was the note in the note talked about why we want it. And it was because of the way we treat people and the, shared like a little bit of that in my post, but I didn't go into the detail that he went into and he would just come on sharing. Like we looked at your community. We looked at your bout page.

we confirmed that you are actually doing what you're saying you're doing and that is what we consider to be responsibly innovative. And that's why, and that was the category. So it went on to say this is the category of this award. so responsible innovation, for me, I can't think of a category I would rather be placed in. Sure, cool technology, I don't even know that's one of them, right? Or ⁓ best host, all that stuff would be cool, but responsible innovation to me is like, when I saw those words, I'm like, that is so.

Kathleen Flanagan (12:00)
Yeah

Alex Sanfilippo (12:08)
cool, that's what we're going for. so Kathleen, to go back to this question like that big win, again, a year I thought I was gonna be working in the dark, which the things I'm working on the dark in the background are the things to make us become more responsibly innovative, like things like accessibility, which no one has ever will ever say thank you for except for the, I don't know, maybe the 30 to 50 people that use pod match that are actually visually challenged. That's not like a huge pat on the back, but we know it's worth it. So getting this, I mean, it made my year.

And it's at the tail end of the year that I got like that showed up and I just couldn't be more grateful for it. So I'm feeling I'm rambling here. I don't mean to.

Kathleen Flanagan (12:45)
No, you're not rambling.

So I'm going to tell you something. I expected this to be my breakout year. And of course it was anything but my breakout year. I had one tragedy after another, after another, after another. And it was very hard going for a very long period of time. And then I started coming out on the other side. I mean, just put my head like what you said, I was working in the dark. I just put my head down fighting my own mental stuff.

staying focused, staying driven, creating courses, doing things that I knew would just help keep me positive, even though I didn't feel that. And what I got, what I learned that this is a nine year, we're going to go woo woo just a little.

Alex Sanfilippo (13:22)
Right.

I love it. It wouldn't be the turn of awakening spirit if it didn't, right? So we have to.

Kathleen Flanagan (13:33)
I know. So it's

a nine year. So that meant there was a lot of completions and this definitely was a year of completions on many levels. mean, I can't tell you the layers upon layers upon layers of completion for me in this year. But in October, was like there's instead of this hopelessness that I almost felt like, why do I want to be here? Why do I want to live kind of thing?

because I, again, people, think, you know, I was dealing with the grief of my father and he was a perpetrator. So there's a lot of dynamics within that framework. But in October, I started feeling good and I learned that next year is one year. Next year is also going to be a very challenging year on many levels. I mean, there's a lot of predictions for next year and I believe 90 % of them are gonna come to pass. But I feel hope because

What happens next year? It's like you and I and a lot of people have laid the groundwork this year so that when next year happens and the world is really chaotic, what are they gonna do? They're gonna find people that are in the light, that are positive, that are doing things, that are growing, that want something more because the chaos is too much for them to handle. And that's what made me so I'm thinking, okay, I get these downloads to do stuff and then it's like, well, what do I do with it?

And so, and now I built my community. It's live. It's not fully done, but I built a community. Do you know how hard that was for me to do Alex?

Alex Sanfilippo (15:05)
Community building is so hard for anybody. think so I'm sure yeah good

Kathleen Flanagan (15:08)
Well, it scared me to death and I'm excited about it and

so I'm doing it and it's like I just feel like this weights really gone like the biggest thing I feared was the thing that was setting me free and We have to change our mindset for things like that as well And this is how I navigated going through these changes and apparently your navigation was that you just put your head and down and you navigated in your darkness and

only to come out and see the light shining on the other end. And sometimes we just don't realize what we're navigating when we're in it.

Alex Sanfilippo (15:48)
Yeah, that's so well said. know, I was with what you just said, ⁓ for me, I get nervous about a lot of things I'm gonna do. Like I look at the project in front of me and it's like pressure and I'm like, man, this is a lot. And what I learned this year is that sometimes the thought of doing something is actually scarier than actually doing it. And like Kathleen, you're nodding yes. I think that you and I both experienced that. And sometimes like there's the saying that courage means being afraid than doing what you have to do anyway.

If you're scared, like just jump in and I'll be real, not every time. Sometimes it is terrifying, like building a community. That is a terrifying thing to do because it's a lot of work. You're like wrapping your, it's a spiderweb in your mind that goes everywhere and you have to kind of keep it all together. It's a lot. But some of the things I was doing that was so scared to do, it was just me thinking it. And I started, I'm like, ⁓ actually this isn't so bad. Like, I did that actually really quick. I remember there was one project I quoted myself two weeks to finish. I finished it in like two hours and like,

It was just, didn't know. And so was so scared to do it. But finally, it was one of those things where I just step up. took courage and did what I had to do anyway. And I think that people like you and I that are in that space, that have hope for a future, right? Believing what we can't see in a year that where things might get really tough and I'm with you. I think that things are really going to change. We are the people that many will gravitate to. And for anyone listening or watching, that might be you as well. If you're that person that's had hope that is stepping up, keep on going, people might gravitate towards you and people are going to need it.

not so they can just follow you forever so that they can rise themselves up and step into who they're supposed to be as well. But there needs to be some pillars, especially when a foundation of like a world economy possibly wrecks a little bit, right? Like I don't mean to get too out of my jurisdiction here, I'm a podcaster, right? But like, if something like that happens, people are going to be needed to step up to be those pillars in the world.

Kathleen Flanagan (17:34)
Yeah, and they are. And I think that's where we start finding who we are because we are in a time of change. We are in a black and white society. There is no gray area. We have to make decisions. And I've been saying this for two years and I'm saying people come January. It's here. You will make a decision one way or the other. Are you going to stay in the chaos? And that's okay if you choose to, or are you going to go into the light and do something different and become the true essence of who you are?

which is a spiritual being having a human experience. But that means you have to navigate your brain. You have to change the way you think, how you feel, how you operate in the world. Because what I came to terms with in this, and this is part of the question of how have you changed, because you're gonna answer this too, is I, even though I was dealing with suicidal tendencies over the summer,

There was a part of me that knew that that wasn't gonna happen, but it was like this habit. And it was rewiring a lifetime of wanting to not be here. And I had it three major times in my life. When I wrote, when my mother died, when my father died, and when I wrote my books. Those were the three times, well, up until 30, when all this trauma was happening in my life. Three major times. And they said, if I survived to 30, I would survive.

With my mom and my dad, that was very questionable because they were suicidal too because of the traumas they incurred in their life. So, you know, this is a generational karma. I'm choosing to break that. I broke that. And, you know, so when we talk about how we navigate, when I said I put my head down and wrote programs because somebody said, lean into this as much as you can and see what comes out because your heart's opening.

Alex Sanfilippo (19:01)
Hmm.

Kathleen Flanagan (19:27)
And ⁓ even though I knew that, hearing that, really I hung on to those words. And sometimes that's just what we're supposed to be. So this community is for people like me that lost hope, that are high achieving men and women, but are dying on the inside because there's nothing inside of them because they buried themselves so far. And that's what I'm doing is to bring hope, to feel safety again.

And that's how I choose to navigate going into 2026 to be that person because I actually, because I wrote it, I have a course and I actually asked ChatGPT today to do if this is a valid course. ⁓ my God, I was blown away of the stats and how, and nobody's doing what I'm doing. And you know what they say, if you can't find what you're looking for, that means it's your job to do it. So I'm going to deliver it.

So now I'm going turn it back over to you, Alex, and how have you changed on all of this?

Alex Sanfilippo (20:24)
It's so good. Yeah.

Yeah, first off, thank you for sharing all that. Like absolutely beautiful journey. Not saying it's not difficult, but like I really respect your transparency and just being willing to share that, which is always who you are. So ⁓ I love that. For me, I'll say that I've learned to let go of control. Like I'm naturally, I don't know if naturally is the right word, but like just growing up, maybe it was my upbringing, like I've always been somebody who wants this like sense of control and not like in relationships. Thankfully, I've never had like

anything with that, but just like in my life in general, my work, I want to be like, okay, if I can see everything, I can wrap my head around it. I can be in charge of it. I can be in control, right? Like I can just feel like I'm in control. I say feel like I'm in control because the reality is this year, I've really learned that that I'm not in control as much as I want to be. And the first example I'll give you was early in the year, I kind of had planned out the whole year for the company again, trying to be in control of it all. Like this is where we're go is gonna help people the most. And there's a few little like, I want to call them like

side quest ideas, like really just small things. It's like, Oh, maybe we could try this. And by the end of the first quarter, I realized that the best things we had done weren't even my ideas. Like the things that helped the pod match members in the community the most were things that were just like, Oh, maybe we could try that. Sure. Yeah. Somebody suggested it. Let's do it. And it was like the main thing. And then like my stuff didn't really land as well. And so I'm not like selling myself short saying I have like all bad ideas or anything like that. It's just like, man, I like took time to plan this. We didn't take a lot of to plan this, but which one moved the needle?

And it's just as a reminder that like, you know what? I'm actually not in control. Like I'm really not and that's okay. So I've learned to do a lot this year is to let go and to trust the process. The way that I've kind of articulated it that made the most sense in my mind is that I'm not in control of the outcomes. I'm only in control of the levers that trigger possibility. So the outcome I'm disconnected from. Now I do understand that there's some levers in front of me that will trigger opportunities to happen. I'm gonna move those levers every day, right? I'm gonna show up and do my best.

but I release myself from the outcome of those and I'm just gonna trust the process. And so for me, I'm a maybe less stressed, less anxious person and really have just learned to enjoy my work more while just not sweating with what's going on because chances are whatever I'm thinking isn't gonna happen anyway. And like I've just learned like you don't add any days to your life by being worried about stuff or by stressing out stuff, right? Like especially things are completely out of your control.

worrying about them doesn't really help anything. And so I've learned to live a lot more carefree. And can tell you this, again, my overall joy has increased a lot. I'm a happier person and really my work is showing up better than ever has. Not that it was ever showing up bad, but it's just like getting better the more I release myself from that outcome. So I'm happy to answer your question. That's how I've changed.

Kathleen Flanagan (23:14)
I think you're reading my questions because I was going to say, is the overall new version of you? No, that's OK. I'm fine with that. I just thought I just got a kick out of it because we're just naturally flowing into this little outline that I woke up. This is funny, guys. I woke up to this is how we're going to talk about wins because usually we just talk and we don't go anywhere. But this all was downloaded this morning. And I said, OK, Alex, this is kind of what the outline is going to look like.

Alex Sanfilippo (23:19)
no, I'm sorry, I wasn't reading your questions.

Kathleen Flanagan (23:42)
And believe it or not, I'm following it, but we're naturally following it. I'm not creating it. It's naturally happening. So I just kind of get a kick out of that because that's, yeah.

Alex Sanfilippo (23:46)
Yeah.

Well, if I could, can I add to that new version?

Because I still think I'm stepping into it, but I really believe that that new version of me is somebody who is ⁓ more committed to standing up for what I know is right in the direction that we're heading. Again, release myself from the outcomes, there's a path that we know we wanna follow. And we talked about early on, but like saying no is not easy for me. Like that's a difficulty for me. But I am getting better at it.

the more I step into the fullness of who I believe I'm supposed to be in this company. And listen, I know I'm connecting like in many ways, like the spiritual side of things with work and a lot of people want to disconnect those. I'm learning that I can't. And so I'm finding like for me, those things are actually more connected than they've ever been before. And I am stepping into that. So the new version of me, yes, I'm having more fun than I ever have at the same time. I'm also standing up for what I believe in more than ever. So when I know something's wrong for our community, I'm learning to say no.

I'm learning to go with the flow of like falling. Like what do I, what do I feel inside my chest? Like I feel something isn't right. I need to honor that and step into that more. And so more intuitive, I don't know, but I'm stepping into, to something new that again, I'm very happy about, but it is challenging. Like I am challenged every day by becoming this new version myself, which Kathleen, I mean, you, you know, the space better than like this idea of personal development better than I do for sure. That's probably part of the process. If you want to become a new version, you probably have to be willing to be

uncomfortable at times, right?

Kathleen Flanagan (25:16)
it's my middle name. You know, I thought it was fear. No, it's uncomfortable because I remember people always saying, you know, the pressure and being uncomfortable because, know, I like to watch a lot of documentaries and bios of people, you know, of how they got to where they are. And what's the one thing that they say? You just never get comfortable when it starts coming. It's more and more. And you have to make it your friend that you have to get used to feeling uncomfortable.

Alex Sanfilippo (25:19)
No.

Kathleen Flanagan (25:44)
And even though I'm not at that place, because I'm pretty comfortable with a lot of places that I'm in now, but I wasn't ever comfortable. And so I figured this is going to be a whole new version of what comfort or uncomfortableness is going to feel for me. Because, you know, this community, I'm just sitting here going, I'm not sure what this is going to look like. And it's like, I'm going to really be coming out in a way that I've never, ever expected to come out and be seen.

And then it's like, you want me to do what? These are the things I say to myself, even though I always say, yeah, whatever, I'm gonna do it anyways. But I acknowledge that part of myself. But I think the one thing that I got solid enough inside of me to feel safe, because I had to feel safe. And that's the people that I'm gonna work with is that I'm going to allow them a place of safety so they can transform.

Because see, I can go out and try to find my people, but why? They're me. They're never gonna be found unless they wanna be found, and the only way they're gonna be found is if they reach their hand out.

Hello, I got real clear with this girl here and that's exactly who my people are. So what's the best way for me to do it? Create a community and believe me, I will guard it and protect it with my life like I do my show. And if you're anything that I think or got any bet, you will be gone so fast, it'll be unbelievable how fast I will make you go. And don't think for five minutes that this little nice pretty little red head over here is gonna say, I will turn into the Tasmanian devil and I have no problem with it.

You know, I may not like it, but I will do it. And that's where I had to come in that my worthiness showed up because I think that was the biggest thing is I felt so unworthy. That's why I couldn't say no. And when I started realizing that I am, I do have value and I realized that my unworthy issue came from the traumas in my life from the abuse. That's when it finally clicked up. well I can fix that.

But when you don't know why you do what you do, and my course is designed to help people find why you're doing what you're doing, because this is not easy. This is hard work. This is painful work. It's ugly work. But you know what? The rewards on the other side are worth it. And Alex is proving it right here that he's going, getting to say no more and all of that. And yet, you know, he gets brighter.

His light gets brighter because of it. He seems more relaxed. Because Alex, when I first met you, there was a nervousness about you. And it's definitely calmer. I mean, you still have that, but we all have our quirks, no big deal. But I've noticed the calmness that's coming over you at the same time. And that's the cool thing about when you bring people into your world, you get to watch their own evolution. And that's a joy for me.

Alex Sanfilippo (28:27)
For sure.

Kathleen Flanagan (28:48)
And that's why I'm such a loyal fan of you because I think you and Alicia are just absolutely amazing. And even though you said you'd do that, you didn't want to come on because you didn't think you'd bring value and you didn't have a story and you did have a story. And I talk about Jesus too. And you know what I mean? It's like we put limitations on ourselves and I wouldn't let Alex say no.

Alex Sanfilippo (29:08)
Yeah.

I remember this.

I pushed back quite a bit.

Kathleen Flanagan (29:13)
And I wasn't bringing you

on to boost my ratings because I'm like, I don't care about ratings. I care about you and what you're bringing to the table.

Alex Sanfilippo (29:23)
Yeah, I think the word worthy that you just mentioned, has just like, I can't get that in my head now. I think that there's not a better, I mean, there's not a better word for what so many people, mean, mean, the worthiness, like we're all worthy, me saying that though, someone heard it and doesn't believe it, right? Like for sure, probably most people heard that and like, well, you don't know my circumstances, right? Or you don't know what I've done or where I've been or where I come from. Like we've all got that. And I think that,

Kathleen Flanagan (29:29)
I know. I saw it.

Alex Sanfilippo (29:52)
I mean, that's like the core of it for me. Like, yeah, I not that I'm I still like kind of care. I don't know why I'm really fast. Talk quick, right? But like, I was really nervous when we met years ago. Like, you were more far more accomplished than me. So was like, I was already near so that I didn't feel worthy is what it came down to. I didn't feel worthy to run a call. Like maybe I was running or whatever it was. And same with your podcast. First time you asked me on I was like, I just didn't feel like I would be worthy of being there. Like you built a great platform. That word is just might be my next word of my next year my life. Who knows? I'm

I wrote it down. don't usually write stuff down while we're going here, but I'm like, I gotta type that one up and remember that. I think that that's a message for a lot of people. And I think that the world needs to hear that more than ever. And I love that you've stepped into that more. And I can see that as well. It shows up in your content. When someone knows they're worthy, they show up with a level of authority as someone who doesn't. And not in a bad or aggressive way, you just, know, I am worthy of this, right? Yes.

Kathleen Flanagan (30:47)
Well, you own it. It's like you own

it. It's like part of your energetic feeling. Yeah, your energetic ⁓ self. Because when you don't feel worthy, you're kind of like this and crunched over and you're kind of like a little me, me, me, you know, mousey kind of person. And now it's just, I just know. And when people want to question, it's like, no. And it doesn't matter if I'm right or wrong. It's no for me. And that

is where the worthiness comes. It doesn't mean that you're wrong. It's just that it may not be right for me. And it has nothing to do with you. It's all about me. And I think when we start realizing that, yes, our world revolves around us, I give you that. But what's going on in your head has nothing to do with me. Instead of me taking it personally like, Alex doesn't like me because he looked weird and maybe you just had a gas bubble right there. You know what I mean?

I mean, we do crap like that to ourselves. So you just have to just, if you're in your power, in your worthiness, you don't care. You just don't care. Cause if there's a problem, what are you going to do? You're going to say, do we have a problem? Do I need to know something? Are you thinking something? Did I do something? You're going to ask that because you respect that person and you respect yourself enough.

to not make up a story and walk away because you made up a story that they didn't like you when that wasn't the case at all.

Alex Sanfilippo (32:17)
So good. I don't have anything to add to that. It's so good. I want to take more notes, but I'll just go back and watch the retream of it.

Kathleen Flanagan (32:25)
You'll be hiring me before too long. So I guess my next question, because we are getting close to it. I know that the win is bigger than and better than what you thought it would be because you didn't expect one. But the main question is, was the journey worth it?

Alex Sanfilippo (32:27)
Hahaha

Absolutely, and I'd love to expand on that a little bit. So it's not a one word response, but absolutely, period, right? It definitely was. so like even something like the Webbies, it doesn't happen like overnight. It was a bunch of small wins and a bunch of small things that accumulate over time. And I could go through so many examples that like one, we decided to do like have a carbon offset our company. Software, believe it or not, a lot people don't think this, but software companies, we have servers and they put off.

admissions and that's a lot of people just don't think about that because we don't see it, right? It's like, it's on the computer. No, there's there's something physical somewhere running that and when we realized that we're like, hey, how do we become carbon neutral? We explored that we found someone who was an expert in that space. We put them on our board and then we found a company that we were able to like actually give to to offset that that amount for some people didn't care. Other people thought that was huge for us. It took a little bit of time, but it wasn't a whole lot of effort actually, right? Which is why I think every software company should try doing that. But that's a side point.

But that was like one small thing. We started giving money back to podcasters. We were able to pay podcasters just for podcasting. And so like that little bit, which started off is like the first payout we did was like $6, I think. And it's added up to more and more. We've since then broken a million dollars back to podcasters, which that for me was a huge achievement. That was giant. But there's so many little things. We got our platform fully accessible. So if someone's visually challenged or has any sort of like...

autism or ADHD or anything like that, they're still able to use the platform because we built in a way that will make sense for most people's minds or if they actually came and see the page. Again, a lot of small things that is just very counter culture because most culture, especially in software is like money, money, money, more and more and more. And we just decided let's not be that. And so we've just built in a way that we're not that. And so for me, like the journey of doing these little wins and this showing up at my front door was like huge, right? Like it was absolutely worth it.

And I will keep on going after the small things. And if something big like this shows up, great, I'll receive it. I'm worthy of it. As we've been talking about here, right? I will accept it, but I'll keep on doing the small things. Cause I know those little wins over and over again of serving other people before myself eventually add up and pay off. And listen, I don't do it to win. It's like to get a Webby or anything like that. I do it because I believe it's the right thing. It's my conviction. It's what brings me joy. It's what I believe I'm put on earth to do right now. So I'm going to do it the best of my ability.

And so the journey is worth it. And I will continue on this same path and same journey.

Kathleen Flanagan (35:10)
Well, and I believe wholeheartedly that you're outward focused and when you're outward focused, we're not paying attention to what do I get out of it. And because of that, that's why you were recognized. And I'm a very outward focused person, introverted on a whole, but outward focused. And I show up in the world when I show up in the world. You know, ⁓ I'm going to always be positive.

Other than last week on my show, looked a little kind of, you know, I was really a little bit different because I was having sciatica issues. I was in phenomenal pain sitting on my chair and I, when I watched it, it was like, well, I showed up still. I didn't say I'm not going to do it because I'm in pain. People knew I was in pain. I showed up and here I'm better and I'm back to my old energetic self, you know, and that's the thing to me is because my show is so important in getting the message out.

is so important that I'm going to show up no matter what. And sometimes I have like, I don't know what it is lately, but the gremlins are getting fed a lot on Tuesdays at two o'clock because I'm having computer issues on Tuesdays now and I set up early and I'm still coming in late. so, but you know what? I've learned to laugh at it. I know that it's going to be perfect when it happens.

So I've learned to let go, like you said, that control. So Alex, I know that we're getting ready to end the show. what would you like, what would be one word of advice that you would give our audience to help them navigate into the next level of their life? And then how can people get a hold of you?

Alex Sanfilippo (36:54)
Yeah, thank you again. And thank you for just, I mean, sharing your journey with me is always a gift, Kathleen. So thank you again for that. The last thought that I have that I think would be really valuable for everybody is to remember that serving somebody else, loving somebody else can bring you a lot of fulfillment as well. We don't do it for that reason, but there's a quote that says, for one what you wish you could do for all. I think that all of us would love to have a really big platform and to...

to be able to reach the masses and like that would be great. But today's are one person that you can help. Is there one person that you can love? Because I believe that sometimes we might be the only person that serves or loves that person one day. An example, this was just over this past weekend. I was out with some friends, were playing pickleball. I just got into it. My wife's really good, I'm not. But I saw somebody, they were going around a turn real fast, like right outside the court and they hit a pole and fell off their bike and like rolled in the bike, like wrap them up.

And so like I ran out there and I wasn't the only one. was actually four of us that ran out there and like pulled the bike off and like made sure the person was fine. And he just said, wow, I, can't believe how nice you all are. I'm like, what do you mean? Like you're in trouble. And he's like, last time I wrecked a bike, he goes, I was in the road and the car that saw me wreck just honked and kept on put like motioning for me to get out the road, to get out of the way. He's like, so I like limped off the side of the road. He's like, that was last time this happened. And for me, it was one of those things like, wow, if, if, if we didn't step up, like that person probably would just had a terrible day. Like I got hurt.

Kathleen Flanagan (37:46)
Ooh.

Alex Sanfilippo (38:15)
and it sucked and my ego was hurt like the person was actually fine. But like, you know, it would have been terrible. But instead they said, wow, people are actually really nice. And that's an extreme example. But I think that all of us can find one little thing we can do to help and serve somebody. And even though it's not everybody, I think that compounds over time. Maybe tomorrow it's two people or maybe that person goes and affects a bunch. And so for me, that's what I commit to every day is who needs me most today. Can I love and serve them somehow? And if I can, then my day is going to be a win.

Kathleen Flanagan (38:44)
Can't agree with you more. It's the ripple effect in the water. Throw the pebble in and you don't know where it's going and then it comes back to you. And we need more kindness and more love in our world. We definitely need that. And that's what I try to do is just smile at somebody because you don't know your smile could save somebody from committing suicide. And there's been known things that have happened where people didn't, they died because nobody cared or

Alex Sanfilippo (38:46)
Thank you. Yeah.

Kathleen Flanagan (39:12)
You've heard the ones that did survive. The only reason I didn't jump was because somebody came by and showed that they cared or smiled at me. You know what I mean? And that's the power that each and every one of us have in this world. And so stay outward focused, be the love that you are and let your light shine. So thank you again, Alex, for coming in. Thank you everyone for joining us today. I really do appreciate it. The link is in

Alex Sanfilippo (39:19)
Right, Yep.

Yeah, thank you.

Kathleen Flanagan (39:39)
You know, my community link is already in there. It's not a whole lot up there yet, but at least it's there. So it's free to join right now. So ⁓ I've got some great plans coming with that and feel free to share the link and I will see all of you next Tuesday, 4 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. And from my heart to yours, I hope you all have a fabulous week and don't eat too much on Thursday. Bye for now.