Reclaiming Joy When Everything Feels Heavy: Your Light Is Still Rising

KATHLEEN: Hello everyone and welcome to the Journey of an Awakening Spirit. This is Kathleen Flanagan, your host, and we're streaming on the Bold Brave TV Network.

KATHLEEN: This space was created to remind you that you are not alone and no matter what your past looks like or what you're facing today, you hold the power to shift your life. We've all walked through pain, loss, betrayal, loneliness, frustration, and hopelessness, but your story doesn't end there. The show is about turning those dark nights into dawn.

KATHLEEN: It's about rediscovering the truth of who you are beneath the pressure, performance, and expectations. Maybe you've achieved success, but deep down you still feel isolated, angry, or even like giving up. You long to be seen, and not for the titles and the accolades, but for your truth.

KATHLEEN: You want to be known and celebrated for the real you, not the version of yourself that's been performing just to survive. Perhaps you've sat quietly listening to what sets your soul on fire only to be met with fear, guilt, shame, or frustration. You try to push through those through, but old stories whisper, you're not enough. And just like that, you freeze.

KATHLEEN: You've read the books, gone to the workshops, implemented the strategies, but something still feels off. That cycle of hope followed by disappointment keeps repeating. And the voice inside says, Maybe this is all, maybe this is all there is, but it's not. As a certified transformational coach and the creator of the Soul Journey program, I help you reconnect with your authentic self and align with your soul vision.

KATHLEEN: I give you the tools to remember who you really are, powerful, worthy, and whole. Each week on this show, we begin with the sound of the tuning forks to bring in the energies of love. Joy, and happiness, setting the tone for deep healing and soulful conversations. So let's begin.

KATHLEEN: Today, this show is to help spiritually aware listeners reconnect with their inner light and reclaim Joy, even during times of emotional, mental, and spiritual heaviness. This episode offers compassionate guidance and soul nourishing tools to honor their journey without bypassing the weight that they feel.

KATHLEEN: What I want to talk about today is exactly that. And as you know, last, well, it's two weeks ago now, I believe my father had passed away. And it seems like now the, the, emotions are coming up and it's not grief or loss of him. It's the fact that I don't have to feel I'm safe finally. And I was on a call prior to this and I received some beautiful messages from the two people that were on the show or on the call with me.

KATHLEEN: And for usually this call is usually got 10 or 12 people in it and it was just three of us. I thought that was interesting. I believe that it was.

KATHLEEN: For me because I was one of the people there didn't know that my father had passed and the whole point of this is Even in the heaviness, your light still rises. And when my father passed, there was this really dark cloud is what it felt like on the inside of me. And I didn't understand what it was.

KATHLEEN: I just figured it was just that darkness and that he still had his cords in me. And it was just things were coming up. I know my mother greeted him on the other side because all of a sudden all my stuff with my mom comes up. So now I'm having the marriage come up.

KATHLEEN: All of that and I just I just observed that's all I did was observe through this process excuse me and in this process I knew that I just needed to be with this and even though it's a very complicated experience of you know when a perpetrator dies and you were the victim it's a very complicated process because you know there's a part of you that once you realize that the father you always wanted will never be.

KATHLEEN: He's gone. He never was going to be, but you always hold out. That little girl inside holds out for something like that. And then also feeling within the heaviness of the grieving process that when we're dark and heavy, we think that everything's gone, but it's not. And today's being with these two people in the room, it made me realize how much that the gentleman had said, Spirit's holding the space for you if you can't.

KATHLEEN: And that just touched my heart in such a way because we always think we're alone and we're not, we're not ever alone. And when you have somebody who can understand, who can handle the depth of pain that I'm in and I'm trying to navigate through, because not everybody understands what this is. I know that there's a lot of people that have had to navigate this when their perpetrators died.

KATHLEEN: You have to find your own way and you have to trust that. And the one thing that the gentleman kept saying over and over was, you know more than you think. I have said that my whole life, that I know because I do, I just know.

KATHLEEN: But there's this human side that comes into us. It's that Spirit, that humanness of our mind that comes in and... Complicates everything because it thinks it's supposed to be in control because we're human beings.

KATHLEEN: I just wanted to talk a little bit about that because if you're feeling burdened by the world or disconnected from Joy or like you've lost your spark, then this episode is definitely going to be for you.

KATHLEEN: Now, I don't feel that. I know that in time, whatever needs to emerge will emerge, but it's a time for grieving.

KATHLEEN: And it's a time for me to navigate because when you spend your whole life having to feel that you're feeling unsafe, and now all of a sudden you're safe because the person that's been holding you back that you didn't even know was holding you back, even though you haven't seen the person, they're still holding you back. And you start to realize, well, who am I? And then what am I capable of doing?

KATHLEEN: And it's not so much of what am I capable of doing because I've proven that is what do I want to feel? I mean, what does it feel like? Now that I'm safe. Because a week ago, Spirit, on Tuesday morning, they said, you're safe.

KATHLEEN: You are finally safe because the perpetrator's dead. I was like, wow. And that darkness that was inside my body seemed to have lifted. I'm doing better. I think today's more of a weepy day because it seems like it happened to be that because of...

KATHLEEN: Just talking about it. And these two people really were holding me up because I'm not somebody, a lot of people can't handle when I go down. Okay. I know that I'm aware of it. I've had a lifetime of experience with it. So I feel very blessed and honored that these two were there for me.

KATHLEEN: And it meant the world to me because I thought it was a little bit surprising that they were the only two on. And yet I felt relieved that they were the only two on at the same time. Because I just had a feeling this thing with my dad would come up. Anyways, even though I may not always feel the Joy right now, I know it's there. Because Joy never leaves us.

KATHLEEN: We think it does, but it doesn't. It just gets buried underneath the darkness or the heaviness of what we're feeling. And usually that heaviness is just the human side of us, of having to move through something. And yes, we are in very difficult trying times. But again, that doesn't have to be your world.

KATHLEEN: You can change your thoughts and change your world. And that's how I look at it. So When we, as a collective, feel the heaviness, and it could be through grief or financial stress or burnout or uncertainty, and believe me, every single one of those things are going on, and I kind of have a little bit of all of those in my life right now, but I don't feel that I am out of control.

KATHLEEN: I don't feel like I'm falling. I don't feel hopelessness. Now I felt that in 2011 when my mother died because of the away, the awareness that was coming in at that time.

KATHLEEN: But now I don't feel that because I feel like when you, when you start moving through stuff and you do have a support system, that's going to help hold you up during very difficult times, count those blessings and hold onto them as long as you can, because we need each other, regardless of what the world is trying to say and what the world is trying to do. We need each other.

KATHLEEN: We are social beings and we are here to help support each other. Because if you think the government's going to do it, you're wrong. They don't care about you. You're just nothing more than an indentured slave. And that's my personal opinion. I don't know what your opinion is, but that's mine. That's why I take control of my life.

KATHLEEN: You know, and the other thing too is spiritual people often carry more emotional weight because of their deep empathy and connection. I understand because something that somebody, that the woman said on the call was, She can't even imagine what I must be doing. And she said, you might be holding up the earth. And I said, I am holding up the earth.

KATHLEEN: I know that. Because you can't go through what I went through and then think your life has no meaning. I know it does. I know what I'm here to do. I know why I'm here to do these things. And yeah, sometimes it really does suck to be me. And sometimes it really does hurt to have a lot of emotions and to be the empath. But you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.

KATHLEEN: I wouldn't have it any other way. And I know that this timing of my father's death is perfect.

KATHLEEN: It's absolutely perfect. It may not feel good, but it's perfect. Because this means that I'm right on the precipice of something really big and magical to start happening. And even though the world doesn't look as pretty as we want it to look, I know it's going to be fine. There's no doubt in my mind that we, the people, will rise and we will get back to utopia.

KATHLEEN: There's no doubt in my mind on that. And if that means that I am taking on all of the grief of people that have been victimized by family members or loved ones or whoever their protectors were, if I'm here to help navigate that and transmute this energy, then I am willing to do this so you guys can come back into that place of Joy and love and happiness.

KATHLEEN: You can also experience emotional fatigue or compassion fatigue, and that's okay. I mean, I'm not feeling so much that, I don't think, as far as feeling emotionally fatigued.

KATHLEEN: I feel like I'm normal. Except for today, it's not feeling very normal. Today, my emotions are up in my face, as you can tell. But that's okay. Because, you know, that means I'm releasing. That means there must be answers that have come up right now that are releasing. You know, messages were given to me.

KATHLEEN: Messages have been given to me. I also know that I went out to work last week and thinking I got it all handled. Oh, my God. I couldn't figure out where I put something and it was on a kitchen counter. And I didn't see it and I was standing right in front of it.

KATHLEEN: I'm aware that I am not 100% in my thinking, but that's okay. I'm giving myself grace because we are allowed to do that. We grieving process is that your heart is opening more. Yes, it hurts, but it's also an opportunity for the heart to open and receive more love. And that's how I look at this.

KATHLEEN: And the higher frequency souls often process energy for others and they're not realizing it. I know right now that's exactly what I'm doing. I think that message came in very loud today on this call that was right before the show starting was that Spirit's holding me up.

KATHLEEN: I feel fine, or so I think.

KATHLEEN: I'm just trusting all of that because I have learned. Because when the rawness of this emotion was up last week, I told Sal to get out I said just get the hell out of my house get out of my life. I mean, that's how much pain I was in and I knew what was going on. And yet I was like, I couldn't stop from verbalizing it. I had to calm down.

KATHLEEN: He had to calm down and we ended up talking about it and everything's fine. But, you know, he's in physical pain. I'm in an emotional pain. And when you've got this going on, I mean, neither one of us can handle it. And we don't know how to help or support each other because he doesn't know what death of a family member is yet. His parents are both still alive. So he doesn't even understand this part.

KATHLEEN: And he's in a lot of physical pain and I don't have physical pain. So, we're both having to be very compassionate towards each other.

KATHLEEN: So, grace, that's all I can say. It's grace.

KATHLEEN: Joy isn't gone. And I'm realizing that more. It may be buried under the rubble, but I'm realizing that it's not because I've told you that I'm on this Mediterranean diet and I'm enjoying eating and I'm going out in my yard a little bit more. And with that, we're going to go ahead and take a commercial break because I just realized that we missed it.

KATHLEEN: Welcome back everyone to the journey of an awakening Spirit. This is Kathleen Flanagan, your host, and we're streaming on the bold, brave TV network. I just noticed that I got a couple of comments and yeah, sometimes it really does suck when we're in this. It really does. But you know what? I also know that there's always this beautiful thing on the other side. So I always look at the positive within that as.

KATHLEEN: It can only go up.

KATHLEEN: I'm not going to say what else can happen because I learned to not ask that question, but there's always more. And so even though this may be a little difficult to navigate, I also know that whatever this is that I'm learning and evolving and transmuting for the planet, I also know that I'm going to be holding some space for some probably pretty powerful people down the road.

KATHLEEN: I trust that. And when I am, so even if I think it sucks. I also know that there's something bigger on the other side, and that's what I believe in. So thank you for your comment.

KATHLEEN: But again, what I was saying is Joy, it's never gone. It's just buried underneath the rubble. And the sun doesn't stop shining just because there are clouds. I mean, that's what we have to look at and remember that we're still joyful, happy people. I mean, that's something that's part of who we are.

KATHLEEN: And, the light continues even. It always rises, even if we're in the dark side of things. And sometimes it's more powerful. And that's kind of how I'm looking at it, that when my mom... Passed away, that was dark.

KATHLEEN: I didn't want to live anymore. I was in a place of total hopelessness and despair during that period of time. I had people just saying, hang on, hang on, hang on, the best is yet to come. I didn't want to hang on because I didn't think I had anything left to hang on. This with my father is a lot different. I spent a lifetime forgiving my father and I wish him well. I hope he finds his way back to the light.

KATHLEEN: With my mom, when that happened, as dark as it was, and there wasn't Joy in myself, I didn't even know that there could be Joy in me in that darkness. That's how dark I was at that point. And that's why I want to talk about this today is because the Joy was still there. Because when I flipped it around into being grateful that I was back in Colorado, that was the starting of bringing the Joy back that I didn't know was there.

KATHLEEN: But what I was... Wanting to say with my mom is I didn't know how passive aggressive and how sly and sneaky my mom was that I didn't know that woman didn't love me until we buried her. So that was a very painful realization at that time. So my father at many levels, a lifetime of learning to forgive him, but it's a lot easier in the grieving process.

KATHLEEN: And the other thing that we talked about today was, you know, what can I do?

KATHLEEN: From that little girl because the little girl is inside of me is still looking for is it going to be okay because she doesn't know anything any differently so there's this whole new element of healing coming in that's bigger than i could ever expect now I don't know what any of that looks like yet but there will be a point where it was suggested to really cut the cords and I saw what he was saying even though I've cut cords with my father I think there's something bigger and deeper coming in but i'm not there yet and i know I'm not there yet I need this emotion to come up and to surface and today is the first signs of tears for the release which is good even though I don't like this part of the grieving process but it's okay because they're not tears for him.

KATHLEEN: They're tears for me. It's release. It's finally, I can let go. I can put my shoulders down. I can put my hair down. I can breathe. I can move in a direction that I didn't even know that I could go into before. And heavy doesn't mean that it's wrong. It just means that growth is underway.

KATHLEEN: I believe in looking at the positive in everything as hard as it is to dig deep down inside. But If you can keep finding that there's something bigger, there's a bigger reason for it. If you could help one person, because how many times did I say that when I was 16, 17, 18 years old?

KATHLEEN: If I can help one person, my life would be worth it. I think I've helped a lot more than one person in my life. But I didn't know that because I didn't have any value or worth in myself because my family had taken that away from me. And just because you can't feel Joy doesn't mean it's not alive within you.

KATHLEEN: I think some of the purpose behind the heaviness is also, and that's okay, Bean, it's okay if you haven't released yet, because sometimes it's in our time when things need to be released.

KATHLEEN: That's the cool part about it is give yourself grace because when it's time to release is when it's going to release.

KATHLEEN: Just like I trust.

KATHLEEN: Breathe into it.

KATHLEEN: Just breathe deeply into it and just allow whatever comes up to come up. You'll be fine. Breathing is one of the biggest things you can do. And then ask Spirit to help you. just ask him to hold the space, allow whatever you need to help that. Because I understand what that throbbing is like. I know what that type of pain is. I mean, there was a point in my life where I actually thought.

KATHLEEN: That I was going to be living in a Buick down by the river because I had no money and I had nobody to help me and I had to find my way through it. I did, but I just kept asking and I've just looked into the future of what do I want? What do I want? What do I want? I visualized and visualize what you want to see that because that's going to help move you into that.

KATHLEEN: And then what are you grateful for? Because that's going to start help easing some of that pain of changing your vibrational frequency. And that's part of what I'm trying to say here is, it's all about heaviness. It's frequency. We ebb and flow all the times.

KATHLEEN: And you're just in probably an ebb where the flow is going to be coming. Just like me, I've been in isolation, I feel like, since the beginning of the year. I thought things were going to look a lot different than they are. But you know what? I'm doing some very deep releasing and healing work. I'm just trusting a process. And that's what you have to do.

KATHLEEN: So when you start finding that and that whole thing with my mom.

KATHLEEN: When I said, I'm just grateful that I'm back in Colorado, that meant something to me because it really did. And then the next day it was a blue sky. And it was like, as fast as I started going into gratitude was as fast as everything shifted and changed. So that heaviness was leaving.

KATHLEEN: And then it was like, all of a sudden the money started flowing because I was in a different vibrational frequency. So be in the emotion. If you need to be in it, be in it. But then get out of it. Be grateful. Have a morning routine or have something that you're feeling grateful for and do something that's going to make your heart sing. And that's what's going to do it.

KATHLEEN: Ask the question, what is this heaviness trying to show me or grow in me?

KATHLEEN: I'm telling you, when I felt that with my mom and really dove into that, what came out was so unbelievable, amazing on the other side. Because it was just releasing. I spent a whole year, I got massages every week because there was so much pain in my body that by the time I got done, I thought my massage therapist was giving me a fluff and buff because every inch of my body hurt back in those days.

KATHLEEN: I just kept, and she, it was so funny because she's like, I am not giving you a fluff and buff. I knew she wasn't, but it felt like it because it was the first time my body didn't hurt. And because I didn't have her. I was like, I was dancing and I was working and I was making close to, I think I made a hundred thousand dollars that year.

KATHLEEN: I mean, all sorts of things just changed. And it was like, wow, what happened? And it was just because I went through and released a lot of darkness, but I released it through gratitude. I was sat with the emotion that I had to do. I cried when I had to cry. I just allowed the emotions to do what they needed to do.

KATHLEEN: That's why I say just surrender, do shadow work, and then trust in the divine timing of things. I know that this is the perfect time that my father passed away. I know it. There's no doubt in my mind. It couldn't have been any sooner or any later. I just think this was perfect.

KATHLEEN: Joy doesn't always roar. Sometimes it's just whispers. So when I was saying that I'm cooking more and I'm eating all this fresh food and it just looks so pretty on my counter with these vibrant, bright colors. And then I make this delicious meals or I'm sitting in my backyard because it's got all of the lushness and the flowers are blooming and the trees are blooming and it's just greenery everywhere.

KATHLEEN: I mean, to me, that's Joy and it's whispering, but it's Joy because I'm working in my yard. I'm outside, the sun is shining, the weather is nice. I'm so happy that the weather's nice. I love summer. Don't always like a hundred degree weather, but I love summer.

KATHLEEN: And that's the whole point is just allow things that just let them come up. What brings your heart? What makes your heart sing? What makes you happy? And just do those things. You know, I love when the sun is on my skin for a little bit, not a lot. I have enough sun damage. I don't need any more.

KATHLEEN: I breathe in this. I have lilacs blooming and I'll go up. There and I just smell them like crazy because they just, I love lilacs and I love the fragrance. And then a friend of mine brought me this most beautiful bouquet of flowers last week, Friday or Saturday, whatever day it was.

KATHLEEN: And they're in my living room and they just smell so beautifully, like the fragrance will just come across my nose and I'm like, what's this smell? And it's like, oh, it's the flowers. And it just brings Joy.

KATHLEEN: They're just saying, we're here for you. We love you and you know I know it sounds crazy, but I don't care. If it makes me feel good, that's all that matters. Who cares what people think? It's about you. This is about you taking care of you.

KATHLEEN: You know, reclaiming your Joy in the hard times is an act of soul sovereignty. So even though I may be in this a little bit of an emotional turmoil, I still find Joy. I still laugh at my cats. My cats still do antics. I've got Shadow in here.

KATHLEEN: I thought for sure he would be on the show today, but he's laying down in the corner over there. And he's just like, I love you, mommy. I love you. I love you. I love you. I just love him back. And that's what I do. I mean, those are joyful moments that my animals are there for me. They want to be with me. They want to talk to me.

KATHLEEN: I feel allowed, I am allowed to feel Joy even now. And that's how I feel about it. I'm allowed to still be happy even if I'm grieving. It doesn't matter. I'm still allowed to be happy. I do a lot of things to make sure that I'm still there, but I do honor where I'm at at the same time.

KATHLEEN: You know, the nervous system also needs nourishment. You don't think your nervous system isn't messed up when you're in this kind of an emotional turmoil. So, again, grounding exercises, just asking the earth.

KATHLEEN: And what I do with the earth is I just ask her to just take my ankles when I'm standing on the grass and just hold me. I feel that energy or I do deep breathing work, which gets me back into alignment, into centeredness with myself, with the divine.

KATHLEEN: I'm going to invite you to place your hand on your heart and just connect to your center. Just for a minute, just breathe into who you are and just allow that person to just fully express in your breath.

KATHLEEN: And with that, we're going to go ahead and take a quick commercial break.

KATHLEEN: Welcome back, everyone, to the Journey of an Awakening Spirit. This is Kathleen Flanagan, your host, and we're streaming on the Bold Brave TV Network.

KATHLEEN: So what brings you a 1% spark? Of Joy today. I want you to find it, name it, and savor it.

KATHLEEN: What that's doing is helping you to find something bigger, something more real, and it'll help you push through whatever that darkness is because the Joy is always there. It's just that we forget to look because we get so wrapped up. Into this human emotional side that we get into.

KATHLEEN: I know sometimes it just sucks to be human, and I would prefer not to be in that human place, but you know, I am. I got seven planets in water. What do you do? I'm going to feel everything. So I've learned to accept that. The other thing I would invite you to do also is journal or do voice notes to track joyful moments over the week.

KATHLEEN: I would say this is like looking for wins. How many times do we not give our self credit for things that are going good in our life? We just pass it over and think it's, oh, no big deal. But it is a big deal. Because when you start looking for things that make you happy to bring Joy, that's why I say like, I'm cooking, I've got my animals. They bring so much Joy to me.

KATHLEEN: And they bring me and ground me back into what's really important. You know, what happened on this call earlier today brought me back into the reality. Because when you're isolating yourself because you need to take care of yourself, you forget that there's other people out there that could care about you. And yes, I'll do this.

KATHLEEN: Yeah, I don't know if you really do that because that's me because that's what I was. I learned to not trust people. I'm learning to unlearn not trusting people. I learned that because of my father. I couldn't trust people because of my parents. That is not who I am. I am moving back into something that is very unfamiliar, something that logically doesn't make sense that I would do this.

KATHLEEN: My ego is screaming at me because I'm trusting something that I shouldn't be trusting. But you know what? I'm going to say, screw you. I'm going to do what I want to do because I found that when...

KATHLEEN: I decided that happiness was an inside job and I was going to be happy and I was going to take the antics of my cat and use that partly to start developing more Joy and happiness in my life. And seeing that, I started seeing that the world was nicer to me and it wasn't nicer to me. It was just, I was nicer to me. So that inward reflection went outward and that's how I...

KATHLEEN: Started to take things, that's when I started taking so much more responsibility for my thoughts, actions, words, and deeds was that if I wanted to have this life, nobody was going to give it to me except for me. But that didn't mean I had to stomp on people or strive or kill people or hurt people to get my way to the top. Well, what is valuable to me? People are valuable.

KATHLEEN: Money's a nice thing to have, but it's not what drives me. People. Drive me. Caring about somebody else drives me. And for me to receive what I received earlier today was such a gift that it was totally unexpected because I don't expect people to give to me the way I give to them. I received in such a way and I was able to receive. And to me, that was beautiful.

KATHLEEN: I learned to identify my emotions. I had to learn how to understand when I felt frustration or anger or rage or jealousy or Joy or happiness, whatever it was, I had to learn because how many people don't even know how they feel. They just feel something and they don't do anything about it.

KATHLEEN: They don't ask for help. They don't ask for their help from their higher self. They don't go inside. They don't ask their body. They don't ask ever. You need people to help you because sometimes you can't see. I'm guilty of that too.

KATHLEEN: I hate asking for help, but I ask for help all the time because I have to ask for help because I don't know and I don't want to stay stuck in the muck. And so when you care and love yourself enough, you're not going to stay in the muck. You can feel whatever you need to feel. You can do whatever you need to do.

KATHLEEN: If you need to sleep through it or if you need to have alcohol through it. Or whatever it is, I have no judgment because it's your life. You're the one who's navigating what you have to navigate, just like I'm navigating what I have to navigate. But I can always find the rainbow on the other side.

KATHLEEN: And that's what I'm going to encourage all of you, that even if you're in it, because going through this, and I know I'm going to be talking a lot more about this whole thing as I navigate through this grieving process.

KATHLEEN: Because something told me I need to talk about it more to help people that have navigated it or maybe never got on the other side of it because they don't know how to deal with those conflicting emotions. I own that I never had the father I wanted. I own that. And it hurt my whole life. Not having a family hurts. Okay? So I created a new one. That's how I took control of my life back. I created my own family.

KATHLEEN: That's what you do.

KATHLEEN: If the world gives you lemons, make lemonade. And that's what I did.

KATHLEEN: And I'm fine with it.

KATHLEEN: I'm, I'm yeah. Emotionally right now, not so fine, but I'm fine with it on a whole. I'm fine because the people that I have around me, I love, they love me.

KATHLEEN: They have my back. I have theirs. And that's all that matters. And that's what a family is. What I was born into was not a family. I don't know what it was, but it was no family.

KATHLEEN: But what I do know is I never have to see these people again, that my karmic debt with them is gone. I'm doing that because I've learned to forgive them. I understand who they are. I understand the purpose of why I chose this family the way I chose it.

KATHLEEN: I'm sure I'm going to learn more about it. There's no doubt about that, but I understand it. And it's all okay because I had to find my worthiness, not somebody giving it to me. I had to find it. I had to own it. I came here to know who I am, truly remember who I am. And this family was the perfect thing I could have given myself to learn that about myself. It took a lifetime, but you know what? I got it. I got the message.

KATHLEEN: It's all that matters.

KATHLEEN: That's why I say have grace with yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Love yourself. Because as somebody always says, nobody's going to love you like you do.

KATHLEEN: And if they don't like you, that's okay. Then maybe they shouldn't be in your life if they're mistreating you. And that's how I feel about it.

KATHLEEN: To help What I've created last week is Get Back in the Flow. It's a five-sole-aligned step process to move forward with clarity. And basically, it just talks about different ways that you can get back in to finding your clarity. And all you have to do is enter your email address, and it'll be in the show notes.

KATHLEEN: And that's something that I highly encourage you to do it. If it's nothing else, it just gives you something to do to take your mind off of what it is and then just learn how to start asking. For the help and the support that you need.

KATHLEEN: I definitely recommend that is you can also reach out to me. I should have my calendar link on my, on my website. So send out a link and you know, we can have a chat, being, if you want to have a 15 minute chat, you're more than welcome to reach out and set up a time.

KATHLEEN: My calendar's available. Because you shouldn't have to navigate everything alone. And I don't think anybody should. I know a lot of us suffer in silence. I know I suffered in silence my whole life. And it really sucked to be me most of my life. It really did.

KATHLEEN: I also knew that I had such a divine connection with Spirit that if it wasn't for them, I would have been dead a long, long time ago. I'm grateful that I was aware that there was something higher and bigger than me and that they kept pushing and driving me. And trust in that process as well. And with that, we're going to go ahead and take a quick commercial break.

KATHLEEN: Welcome back everyone to the Journey of an Awakening Spirit. This is Kathleen Flanagan, your host, and we're streaming on the Bold Brave TV Network.

KATHLEEN: See, you are not broken. You are becoming, and we are always becoming. And it's through pain, unfortunately, it's through pain that we grow. I mean, look at nature. Nature goes through a death and rebirth every single year. You know, we're in the rebirth now, we're going to have the flourishing and the abundance, and then it dies in the winter.

KATHLEEN: And if you can just get and understand that we are in the cycles of life, we are in an ebb and flow. Things are always moving in that direction. We're never broken, regardless of what people say, what they think. You chose the life that you've created.

KATHLEEN: You've chose where you are at this moment in time. You designed every aspect of your life. You designed every aspect of your body. You created this. This is your creation. And so the question is, do you want to stay where you are? Do you want to move out of where you are?

KATHLEEN: Sometimes it's just a process. Here we are five and a half months and I'm still feeling like I'm hidden. I came out full barrels in January only to go, whoa, whoa. And then I come out and then it's like retract and out and retract. I'm trusting that.

KATHLEEN: I think when I came out and after going to these a couple of seminars in March, and I went into, okay, I'm going to do this now. I had to manage my way and really assess what happened in those events. And then I'm ready to come out again. And all of a sudden my father dies. And that just was like, whoa, it's perfect timing.

KATHLEEN: That's what I can't emphasize enough. It was perfect timing. Does it suck to be me sometimes? Yeah. Does, do I like being here? No. Do I want to be out in the world? Yes. But maybe there's something that I'm, it's the diamond. Let's look at it that way that we're just being, getting rid of the rough edges and smoothing everything out and bringing that brilliant shine of who you are coming out to the world.

KATHLEEN: And that's how I'm going to look at it. Is that, yeah. You know, going through this growing process doesn't always feel good, but you know what? It's always what's on the other side. I know that I'm so close to my dream coming true. I can't even, I can't even stand it. It is like right there. And I think that's why I feel that. And then I'm like, well, maybe I need to push, you know, that pregnant pause.

KATHLEEN: And now it's time to push and birth the baby. And it's like, nope, not yet. Okay. Got it. I just sit back and it's like, okay, then I will just navigate through this. As long as the heaviness that is so deep inside is gone, that's okay. It's okay that the tears are coming up. It's okay that I feel the way that I feel. I know that I'm still happy. I still feel Joy.

KATHLEEN: I'm excited about what the next chapter of my life is. And if you can always keep looking forward to what's next and what is it that you want? Because when I was talking to these people today, I said, well, there's like, you're going to be right. It's like you're creating a new language. I said, well I was told I'm going to write a new language. Apparently this is the beginning of writing a new language.

KATHLEEN: I don't know what that looks like. I don't know what that means fully, but it makes sense because if I can sit here and say, okay, when you're in the deepest, darkest part of you in hell, and you don't know how to get back, here's how you get back. And these are the things you say and do to yourself. Then maybe that's what the language is because how many people take care of themselves? Not many.

KATHLEEN: We're so used to beating ourselves up and that's by design. That's what our brain does. So you get out of the brain and get back into your spirituality. So even if you can't see it, your light is still rising. I don't think I ever believe that, is that my light was always still rising. I always thought it was dark and dull only because of how I felt on the inside.

KATHLEEN: But when I look back and I'm looking at it now, my light never stopped shining. It was always bright. It's just getting brighter. The more you can release and... Dump the garbage, the brighter you become, the lighter you become, the more you hold your head up, the more you relax your shoulders, the more you can open your heart. Because would it tell you people have shut down their hearts? I know that because I did too.

KATHLEEN: I was like, well, I only want love. I only want Joy. I only want happiness. Well, that's not, you're not. If you shut down your heart, you shut down everything. You have to feel everything. Anger, frustration, lust, greed, whatever it is. And it's not, there's no judgment on the emotions. It's what you put on it. They're just an emotion. That's all they are.

KATHLEEN: They're just an emotion. And when you can start looking at that, emotions are nothing more. So if you feel a little jealous, okay, so why are you jealous? Well, because they have something that I don't. Okay, well, do you think you cannot have it? No. Okay, then why don't you do something to get it instead of being jealous? You know what I mean? Have these conversations with yourself.

KATHLEEN: Really talk to yourself about what you're thinking and how you're feeling and shift that. And come back to your empowerment.

KATHLEEN: Nobody's going to empower you, so you're the only one who can do it. And then have that support team that stands around and supports you in the process. I want to thank you for being here today in this sacred space and joining me with this. I want to let you know that if you really like the show, feel free to subscribe to the show.

KATHLEEN: And that way you'll be notified when the shows come up. If you found some special value or meaning, send it to the link to friends or family who might. Be able to use this information if they're hurting or in pain.

KATHLEEN: So if you want to, if you're craving any real transformation or want guidance and becoming your authentic self, you can reach out to me at bravetv@KathleenMFlanagan. Com. You can go to my KathleenMFlanagan. Com website where there's a list of services and products that I have that can help you navigate through some of this.

KATHLEEN: You can also sign up for a free 15-minute consultation. And my books, Dancing Souls, The Call, The Dark Night of the Soul, and Awakened are on my website, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon. Com.

KATHLEEN: And also there's the free de-stress meditation gift that just all you have to do now is just put in your email address and it'll be sent to you immediately. So it's just things to help you navigate the... And the de-stress is a chakra balancing, so it's going to raise your vibrational frequencies, and that's going to help move you into a new direction.

KATHLEEN: So again, I want to thank all of you for joining me today. I really do appreciate you being here, and I will see you all next week at Tuesday at 4 p. m. Eastern Standard Time. And from my heart to yours, I hope you all have a fabulous week.