How Triggers Lead to Spiritual Growth

KATHLEEN: Hello everyone and welcome to the Journey of an Awakening Spirit. This is Kathleen Flanagan, your host, and we're streaming on the Bold Brave TV network. The purpose of the show is to help you realize that you are not alone and that you are in control of your life.

KATHLEEN: It doesn't matter where you came from or what your circumstances are. We've all experienced pain, suffering. Hurt, abandonment, loneliness, and hopelessness. This show is here to help you turn those dark moments around and create a whole new you. Despite your success, have you felt lonely, angry, frustrated, or even suicidal?

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KATHLEEN: The lies you tell yourself perpetuate a cycle of disappointment. You'll say you'll change, but your self-limiting beliefs keeps running the show, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. As a certified coach, I empower you to become your authentic self. My Soul Journey program aligns you with your true self and guides you to find your soul vision, helping you discover your purpose in life.

KATHLEEN: I provide tools to step into your true magnificence and remember who you are. If you're interested in learning more, contact me at bravetv at KathleenMFlanagan.com. Each week, we start the show with the sound of the tuning forts, bringing in love, happiness, and balance to set the tone for both myself and my guests when I have them. So let's begin.

KATHLEEN: Today I wanted to talk about how emotional triggers are not obstacles, but they are doorways to our healing.

KATHLEEN: And I can say that a lot of things that have happened to me in my life really have led down a path. And it is a series of events because we all have a variety of things that we're going to learn and grow and change during a lifetime. It's not just one, but there's always an overriding pattern that will always surface.

KATHLEEN: And I think the one that got me the most that is really been up front and in my face is really understanding what happened to me at 11 years old when my father pretty much beat the hell out of me. And my mother stood by and didn't do anything. And in 2008, I remember when that came up as a tsunami of emotion.

KATHLEEN: It wasn't the beating that bothered me so much as that my mother did nothing to save me or protect me or stop what was happening. And I remember going out back out to Colorado. For a week and I had asked her about it and she just flailed her arms and said, well, it was just so much.

KATHLEEN: And I had to forgive her at that point because, my mother, I think my grandmother might've recently died during that period of time as well. I don't know. All I know is that the trajectory of my life changed at that moment. And I had a lot of rage.

KATHLEEN: Everybody thought it was anger, including myself, but it was rage.

KATHLEEN: That I carried I became suicidal and I did not want to be on this planet because I didn't feel it was a safe environment to be here and why would anybody want to be on this planet when I had experienced what I did now I have survived all of that and I have healed a lot of that but as I'm writing this anthology chapter on it even more came up and I was asked well what's the thread And I had to really think about that.

KATHLEEN: And it was when I discovered the thread of that, this was something that went through my entire life, is when I started to realize and even more started to release.

KATHLEEN: Yeah, there's still a lot of emotional release that goes on. But I also realized at that point in time that it was probably the best thing that happened. That wasn't my plan, I don't think.

KATHLEEN: I think I had a different plan, but it got usurped. That's how I look at it. And I'm going to keep it at that because I know we plan our lives, but I also know there's an element of free will and free choice and we choose what happens.

KATHLEEN: And I chose to stay in that situation.

KATHLEEN: And it took a long time to forgive my father because in that healing process, there were so many other things that came to the forefront, so many past lives that I got to learn about and see and change and grow and evolve. That one incident was an overriding theme in my life. And it was the thing that I wanted to change the most was I didn't want to be angry anymore.

KATHLEEN: And I wanted to be a better person. I didn't want to be subject to letting that run my life any longer. Because I think at one point, I realized that this was running my life. And when we start looking at those emotional triggers, we start realizing that We're the ones that are controlling it.

KATHLEEN: Now, yes, we don't know what's going on in our unconscious part of our mind, but these emotional triggers will allow that to come forward. And that was the thing that I wanted was to be in control of my life. I wanted to know what I was thinking and how to change it when it came up instead of being a victim to it or just being in a habitual pattern and nothing ever changed.

KATHLEEN: And that was one of the biggest parts of me moving to the next level was. That desire to want to be a better person. And that went into the core of my being, and it has been an overriding factor in my entire life. And this matters because we feel stuck in cycles of pain without realizing that they are also holding the key to our healing.

KATHLEEN: Because when we're angry and bitter and resentful and have a victim mentality, we're never moving forward. We're staying stuck in this loop. It's like Groundhog's Day where you just perpetually go over and over and over the same thing. And you're never making forward momentum progress.

KATHLEEN: Instead of asking the questions, when we're triggered, those are the messengers and they're not the enemies. Even though when we look at it, our first initial thought is, oh my God, it's up in my face and how do I not deal with this? And when I decided to start facing... Those issues is when I realized where the healing really was. It was in facing it.

KATHLEEN: It was in healing because we don't heal through our mind. We want to think we heal through our mind, but we don't. We don't make forward movement in our mind. We do it through our heart. And that means we have to relive the experience in a way, not fully, but we're reliving it on an emotional level where we have to release that pain.

KATHLEEN: And so when the first time it happened for me, and I said I had that tsunami because I was totally out of control. And that tsunami allowed me to like see what was underneath what I recalled of the beating. I didn't know what the thought forms were, but the healing allowed me or the crying allowed me to see what was deeper.

KATHLEEN: And then it was like, okay. And then it went deeper again. I went to that next level. And it was mind-blowing to me that There was so much more involved, so much more that I had packed away because I didn't understand what was happening or why it was happening. And I couldn't understand how this man who claimed to be my father could beat the hell out of his daughter.

KATHLEEN: I couldn't understand that for the life of me. But I did threaten him because I did discover that we were all little girls and we were still taking baths together because showers weren't part of... That time. I remember seeing bruises from my shoulders all the way down to my knees.

KATHLEEN: I had covered myself up and I looked at him like, how could you do this to your little girl? And he came after me one other time and I turned around and I squared that man. And I said, you lay another hand on me and I will call the police and have you arrested for child abuse. Again, child abuse was not something that was actually talked about yet, but I knew enough.

KATHLEEN: To do something. And he said, well, I'll just rip the phone out of the wall. I said, you could do whatever you want to. I will go to a neighbor and I have the bruises to prove what a monster you are. That man backed off and never laid another hand on me again. And it was the only thing that I knew to do at that point, because I knew that I became the adult at that moment.

KATHLEEN: I knew that my parents were worthless. They couldn't do anything. They were so wrapped up in their own stuff. And there are seven of us kids. And I became an adult at that moment. And so I did have a childhood. So yeah, I carried a lot of anger and bitterness, but it was just seeing that and beginning to understand that I could shift that perspective and rewrite that story.

KATHLEEN: Because when we transmute the pain, it becomes wisdom. And so when I started to understand more of what was happening in that painful situation is when I started to realize that I was gaining control, that it no longer ran my life. I didn't have to be angry anymore. It was an event. That's all it was, was an event.

KATHLEEN: I wasn't harmed. I wasn't killed. I'm not going to die if I did get killed. I wouldn't die. But see, as an 11-year-old, you don't know that. And you don't understand why your parents could do the things that they do. And I know I'm not alone in this. I know there's millions of people out there that have gone through worse things than I did.

KATHLEEN: But... They also don't allow that. They're allowing that wounded child to lead their life. And then they wonder why they don't have what they have because they have to live that again. They have to see what was underneath it. What did you do? You did this. What were your thoughts? So you can release those thoughts and become the adult that you want to be.

KATHLEEN: So it really is about learning how to understand those emotional triggers. And that is a strong reaction to a situation, a person, a memory that activates unresolved emotions. And rage is a very strong emotion to be carrying an entire lifetime. But it was also that rage that kept me alive. I didn't trust anyone. I didn't think the world was safe.

KATHLEEN: And I was going to do whatever I took for me to survive my life. I did that. But I didn't like that I was always angry. That was the thing I didn't like. I got tired of always feeling like the world was against me. And it wasn't. It was me against me trying to protect myself on a very immature event that happened because it was an 11-year-old that created those thoughts.

KATHLEEN: So when these triggers come up, it could be from childhood wounds. It's unmet. Emotional needs because I didn't feel safe. My mother didn't do anything to make me feel safe. So then I'm walking around my whole life feeling unsafe. I don't feel that anymore, but I did a lot of work to not feel that unsafeness.

KATHLEEN: And it was when I got into alignment is when I realized that I always felt that. And what's the thing that I have been saying my whole life? You're safe, you're safe, you're safe. I tell people they're safe. I tell my animals you're safe. I tell myself I'm safe. And I don't have to say that all the time anymore because I know I'm safe now.

KATHLEEN: You can have a past life experience or an ancestral trauma that causes unresolved things. Well, I can vouch for that too, because I have definitely had that in my life. I know where I came from. I know how many, I have relived so many past lives of being killed for speaking because I believed in God and I spoke it.

KATHLEEN: I thought a different way. And I have been killed so many times or tortured. I remember the one time I saw the movie Braveheart and I was at Red Rocks Theater, which is an outdoor theater. And it was just, it was magnified to me. It was so magnified.

KATHLEEN: I couldn't take my eyes off that monitor for nothing in the world. And when I left, I was messed up for days because I really, at that moment, I felt like I was Mel Gibson in that movie that I had been. Torn to pieces like that because he defied the Lords.

KATHLEEN: So, and I, and when you have something like that, when you feel that real strong calling like that, or that real deep sense of, I know this, then it probably is that. I would just remember that I was, I'll never watch that movie again. Never. Once was enough of what they did to that man, because it was like, I know what that was. I felt it.

KATHLEEN: And then you can also have those repressed emotions and subconscious beliefs. So if I think that I'm unworthy because I wanted to play with matches because I love the way the sulfur lit up and then once they were done, I was over. And that was the whole reason and telling my father, who is a habitual liar, that I just wanted to play with to see the flame that wasn't good enough.

KATHLEEN: And within an inch of my life, I finally said that and he backed down. What do you know? What do you know? I mean, you know what you know when you're that old. I just believed at that moment that nobody cared about me. Nobody loved me.

KATHLEEN: Nobody would protect me.

KATHLEEN: I thought I was unworthy. I was undeserving. And that drove everything into my body. That man beat that into me that I was not worthy to save.

KATHLEEN: And that became a very strong subconscious, I call it unconscious belief because it was deeply ingrained in my unconscious mind.

KATHLEEN: And when I decided I wanted to start working through my limiting beliefs, that was the big one that came up. And we're going to go ahead and take a quick commercial break.

KATHLEEN: Welcome back everyone to the journey of an awakening Spirit. This is Kathleen Flanagan, your host, and we're streaming on the bold, brave TV network.

KATHLEEN: So some other common triggers and hidden lessons is rejection. How many times do we feel rejected by things, especially when people have to pick us and we don't want to be the last one to get picked on a line. But in the rejection, you have to learn how to accept yourself. And that's.

KATHLEEN: Probably the biggest thing is that because as little kids we got we make so much stuff up as little kids because that's what we do and then we carry that for the rest of our lives because we don't realize how immature that is So when you face the rejection, it's about you have to learn to accept yourself.

KATHLEEN: That's not an easy thing to do when you don't think highly of yourself. And so like when I was talking about the worthiness, that was a hard one to overcome. And in the last year, I was reflecting on this as I heard over and over and over again from my coaches of anybody who gets the opportunity to work with you are going to be so lucky because you play up.

KATHLEEN: There in the fields of the Bob Proctors and the Mark Victor Hansons and the Mary Morrissey's, and the David Bayers because of the lifelong experiences, because I'm walking my talk.

KATHLEEN: It's not something I've learned. I've learned it through the school of hard knocks, and I am an expert in transformation. And hearing positive things like that over and over and over again, I really started to take that in and embrace it. And it was amazing how fast I could shift that from myself.

KATHLEEN: Abandonment, that's another big one. God, have I felt abandonment throughout my whole life. I had to learn to be secure with myself. Now, I listen to Spirit. Spirit is always around me. They're always talking to me. And I really gained a lot of security with them. I remember it was a February many years ago, and they stepped back and I was depressed.

KATHLEEN: And I mean, I was so incredibly depressed because I felt like they left me. Now I could feel them back here, but they weren't talking to me. At the end of the month, they came back, they stepped forward, and I was so happy again. I had a friend of mine who's like, what are you talking about? I don't understand.

KATHLEEN: I'm like, when you have voices in your head 24-7, you get used to things. I asked them, why did you do that? And they said, because you have to learn how to stand on your own two feet. You're still being a cripple if we keep doing this for you. And that was a very tough thing to do. And I did. I learned how to do it. They stepped forward.

KATHLEEN: Back. I step back too so I can learn to do it. Now they talk to me all the time again because I don't need them, but it's like now I just have conversations with them and it's a lot of fun. And of course, criticism is definitely down that self-worth. Oh my God, you couldn't say anything or look at me cross-eyed and I would be like, what?

KATHLEEN: You don't like me.

KATHLEEN: I can tell you, I mean, talk about being a little kid, every step of the way on my growth, every step of it. And then of course, I am one of the biggest control freaks on the planet. Thank God that's changed. I've learned to surrender and trust a process. That was a big one to do too.

KATHLEEN: How many times do we all want to control something because we were so out of control as a little kid, because we fell victim to something we didn't have? The knowledge or the wherewithal to do something. So we become control freaks.

KATHLEEN: And oh God, learning to surrender, that was baby steps. It was very much baby steps. And now I'm thinking, God, it wasn't that hard to do, but I had to learn to find that deep inside of me. And that's where it comes from is going inside and finding it within you.

KATHLEEN: So our triggers really are the gateways to our spiritual growth. And it comes with shifting your perspective. So you come from, you react, but you want to come from reflection instead of reacting. I have always reacted to everything in my life. Everything was a reaction. I learned that from my mom. My mom reacted to everything. I figured that's how you're supposed to handle life.

KATHLEEN: And the more that I started to illuminate those unhealed aspects of myself, the more I could sit back and reflect on it and say, okay, I don't know what to do, or you tell me what I need to do, but I don't know what to do. I'm not going to do anything until I feel a sense of going forward. And that of course is the water loss in my basement.

KATHLEEN: I keep telling you guys that that's been one of the biggest changes that I've noticed because the first water loss I had on my other property. I was in overwhelm. I was freaking out. I didn't know what to do. I just put my head in the sand pretty much because I couldn't cope with it.

KATHLEEN: And this one is like, yeah, whatever. I'm happy. I'm going to stay happy. And when I need to know what the answer is, I will learn it. I always did. But that became a very powerful place. So when things are happening now, instead of reacting, I do my best to get off the stage, so to speak, and watch and observe.

KATHLEEN: And see what's coming up for me because I know I'm being triggered about something, but I don't have to respond to it in a negative way. I can take it from a place of empowerment. And that's what I do now because I'm not suppressing those emotions. I'm asking, what are they teaching me? Because there's always a lesson.

KATHLEEN: There's always a reason you're being triggered, always. And the question is, how are you handling it? Do you want to know what it is or are you going to put your head in the sand? And it becomes the difference between a victim consciousness and then being empowered. I wanted to be empowered. I was so tired of people controlling my life.

KATHLEEN: And my business partner, thank God he doesn't do this very much anymore. And when he does, I still get cranky. Cranky, but he was so good at pushing my buttons. And it just used to infuriate me that I couldn't stop him. I mean, not that I could stop him from doing it. I couldn't stop the reaction.

KATHLEEN: It was just such a thing of that I would react. I just remember it's like, Kath, you have got to get ahold of this. He's still triggering you. But what he was showing me is that, yes, you are getting better, but you're not there yet. And now if he does it, I just grump at him.

KATHLEEN: And it's like, I know what you're doing and stop it. And that's pretty much what it is. Because, once somebody can't push your buttons anymore, guess what? They stop pushing your buttons because there's no reaction. They're doing it to get a reaction out of you.

KATHLEEN: And sometimes that's all this is, is people are just trying to show you, spirits trying to show you, this is your evolution. This is where you are on the evolutionary process. So you can give yourself kudos as you're moving forward instead of thinking, I'm not getting anywhere when you are making huge strides.

KATHLEEN: And then we have the inner child who also heals our triggers. Oh my God. I remember doing inner child work. And I remember when she popped up several years ago and I was trying to get out and get on the speaking circuit. And it was like, I couldn't get out the front door again. It was like, oh my God, I thought I worked through all this stuff with my inner child.

KATHLEEN: I remember I was on the phone with a friend of mine and she's like, what's going on? I said, well. I can't seem to get out on the porch. She says, but everybody's standing on the front lawn, just welcoming you and saying, you're going to be okay. And it's like, I know, but it's like, I can't move. And it was like a whole new level of inner child work that I had to look at that I didn't even know was there.

KATHLEEN: I can get out on that stage now and it doesn't bother me. But it was just an interesting experience to feel that. I was talking to somebody as I was going through that. Inner child experience and just knowing, because I was holding her hand and I said, we're going to be okay. And she knew that, but she wasn't ready. So you know what I did? I honored that.

KATHLEEN: I honored it.

KATHLEEN: So I wasn't going to push her anymore. And sometimes when we're dealing with that little girl or that little boy, we just need to honor their fear.

KATHLEEN: Because she put up with a lot. I abandoned her. I stuffed her for a long time. And she just wanted to be heard and just, like, I'm still not, I'm not there for this. I've done a lot, but I'm not there for this. So I honored it.

KATHLEEN: And when it was over, it was over. I mean, I don't feel that anymore. So I think that's grace, giving ourselves that grace that we don't always do for ourselves.

KATHLEEN: It's about reparenting ourselves. I mean, I certainly didn't have any parents, so I had to learn how to parent myself. And I had to provide the love that I didn't receive. And that was a big one because how many times, I mean, I was good at self-loathing.

KATHLEEN: I was good at saying, I hate you with all the venom I had inside of me to myself in a mirror. But to say, I love you, oh my God, that was the hardest thing in the world to do. I just about coughed up on my words.

KATHLEEN: But that's part of what it is. I mean, we're just so valuable as humans because we're spiritual beings and we just have to remember our worth and stay away from people who don't think that you're worthy.

KATHLEEN: And then, of course, there's healing. The healing exercises you can do is you can journal with your inner child. You can do mirror work or self-compassion practices. I remember... Learning to say, I love you in the mirror. And it took a while to feel comfortable doing that, but I did a lot of mirror exercises to understand and look at myself and not have that self-loathing.

KATHLEEN: I have written, I can't even tell you how much I've written. I mean, not just books, but I journaled a lot because there would be when that pain was so intense, I just had to get rid of it.

KATHLEEN: And then when I had dealt with my father or mom issues, When things were being triggered, I would write it down and burn it and transform it. So, I mean, everything I've done, you want to do that for yourself because I didn't want to carry that pain anymore. I mean, there's a point you've got to get to where you just don't want to carry it anymore. And that's what I chose to do.

KATHLEEN: And these triggers are going to lead to your spiritual expansion. I mean, when you move from reaction to intentional responses, that's empowerment. That makes you feel good about yourself. That starts building your confidence and your worthiness and your boundaries. And you start finding your mouth on top of it.

KATHLEEN: You start to learn to detach from that, which becomes that emotional mastery. So like I say, when something comes up and it's right up in my face, what I do my best is like, Kath, stop, sit down, breathe, and then put the show on the screen.

KATHLEEN: And see what's coming up and understand where it's coming from instead of just running around like a crazy person like a chicken with their head cut off because that wasn't serving me in any way. And then you want to recognize when the trigger is assigned to set boundaries or to walk away.

KATHLEEN: I have done that many, many times that sometimes we set the boundaries and we still walk away because the other people are still holding a lot of anger towards you because they think they can walk all over you. And the people that walk all over you are the people that have no boundaries. And those are the people you really need to walk away from.

KATHLEEN: And then expand your capacity for unconditional love for yourself and others. And that is another thing that really happens is the growth that you have because you start seeing love coming towards you. When people, when you're doing that, you feel good about yourself. You start taking better care of yourself. You start exercising, eating, treating yourself decently.

KATHLEEN: Again builds that self-worthiness. It builds that compassion. It builds your love for yourself. It helps you to be more empathetic towards other people because you start realizing you're not the only one on this planet and there are other people that are hurting. And what can you do since you know how to get out of it a lot easier now? And with that, we're going to go ahead and take a commercial break.

KATHLEEN: Welcome back, everyone, to the Journey of an Awakening Spirit. This is Kathleen Flanagan, your host, and we're streaming on the Bold Brave TV network. So there are some healing techniques that we can do when the emotional triggers set us off. First one is just recognize when the trigger's here. Just acknowledge it because sometimes we don't. We just...

KATHLEEN: All of a sudden we get this emotion or we're freaked out about something, but we're not stopping to look at it. So when you have one of those gut-wrenching things, or all of a sudden you're crazy feeling, stop, just stop and breathe. That's what I'm going to recommend. And then look at what's coming up. What are you feeling? Where did it come from?

KATHLEEN: And start reflecting back on when this just happened, because sometimes It could just be some weird thing that happened, but something triggered you. And there's a reason why you got triggered. And sometimes it could just be what the planets are doing on the earth right now too. And then name that emotion without any judgment. Well, I'm feeling this. Okay.

KATHLEEN: And it's like, and even if you like the emotion or not, you're feeling it. And acknowledge it and let it go. And then just really embrace that emotion and understand where where did it come from. And then start writing. What does this situation remind me of? Because there's a reason why it came up or you're reliving something from a different time.

KATHLEEN: And when you go back and look at that, because how many times when I say that, we always come up with limiting beliefs. Well, part of looking at a limiting belief is when you know it's a limiting belief and you know it's bullshit, you turn around and you go, okay, well, that's not true because I feel powerless. So what is it?

KATHLEEN: Where's the evidence to prove it wrong? And you go through that. Well, that's what this exercise does too. It takes you and brings your power back by writing and asking what does this situation, because we're not powerless people and we've done enough things to prove that we. Can stand in our power. We just forget it because we are in a fight or flight emotion.

KATHLEEN: And it's about bringing that back into awareness. So we want to have breath work, breathing. I mean, like I said, breathe in for four, hold for four and exhale through six, in through your nose, out through your mouth and do that three or four times or longer, depending on what it is.

KATHLEEN: And just get the endorphins going, get the dopamines released so you can just get back and get your heart rate down. Because once you do that, then you start feeling better and you can start looking at the situation where you're looking at the trigger and you're identifying it. But when you're in that moment, you don't see anything.

KATHLEEN: Movement, dancing, yoga, walking, hiking, biking, anything like that gets that emotion out. And I can't tell you how many times when I was going through a lot of these changes, especially when I was buying my first house, oh my God, I would go dancing and I'd be like, when I'd got in there and I would come out and I felt so good because just moving got the stuff out of my body, got it out of my head.

KATHLEEN: And I felt really good. And movement is huge on releasing stored trauma. Because when you're in that place where you're just grumbling, that's stored trauma. And once you understand it's stored trauma, well, releasing it. Because like I said last week, I would see these black mists leave my body.

KATHLEEN: I knew they were thought forms. I was releasing something from my body. I can't tell you what it was. Didn't care. I was just seeing it and releasing it and blessing it on its way. And then of course, my favorite is the power of sound healing, humming, mantras, vibrational therapy.

KATHLEEN: I can't tell you how much sound saved my life, especially when my mother passed away. And I couldn't get through this grieving process. And I was just in this rabbit hole that I couldn't get out. I mean, when your mother dies, oh my God, thank God there's only one mother. To ever have to go through this a second time, I don't know if I could have made it.

KATHLEEN: And Spirit actually said, get in your, because I had a jacuzzi tub, said, get in the tub and put these oils in and then get the tuning forks. And I did. And I remember the first time I did the tuning fork and I put it right on the water and every, I swear to God, every circuit in my brain just went all the way back. Like I got rewired at that moment. Well, sound works in water anyways. And that's why I always say drink.

KATHLEEN: Water before and after because sound the sound will ride the water waves further down it'll go deeper and it releases faster and you know I remember when iI was telling this to my friend and we were just laughing at the stupidity of like wow I who would have thought and we just laughed because it was such a stupid thing to say but yet it was a huge realization of the power of tuning forks they're powerful And they release deep seated trauma where you don't have to relive it.

KATHLEEN: It just releases it because we store everything in our body and we hide it really good for people not to give it, so they can find it and take it away from us. But this is what I highly recommend doing that.

KATHLEEN: And then start reframing and rewriting your story. That's what I would suggest. So instead of why are you doing this to me? Why not say, what is this trying to teach me?

KATHLEEN: What am I learning from this? What caused this for me to look at this? And just reframing how you talk to yourself and how you view things brings back power to you and it accelerates your growth.

KATHLEEN: And that was the thing that I think was you're shifting from victim mentality of you're doing to me instead of me learning. It's what is it revealing? And I can't tell you how many times that reframing of those questions and rewriting a story is so empowering. And thank God we have.

KATHLEEN: The mind to be able to do that. We just have to know that we're ready to release it for good. And then of course, the affirmation work is I am safe. I am love and I choose to heal. How many times have I said over and over and over again, I am safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I am loved. I know I'm loved.

KATHLEEN: And I never said I choose to heal because those words never entered my mind. I was just doing the healing work all together.

KATHLEEN: And then of course the shadow side.

KATHLEEN: The shadow side is one of the hardest things to do, but you want to integrate the shadow instead of rejecting those painful emotions because there's so much knowledge in that pain. And that's where you start finding the beauty of you.

KATHLEEN: And I've done shadow work and it's not easy work, but it's the work that you need to do to gain your power back. It's where you go in and you find your light, not somebody's telling you, well, you're a spiritual being having a... Human experience. No, you know who you are when you do that kind of work, when you go deep inside and live that.

KATHLEEN: And there are people out there who can do shadow work that can help make this transition. You're still going to feel it, but the empowerment that you have on the other side is amazing. And then of course, the Hono Pono, the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer for that inner peace.

KATHLEEN: I know that there was a time and it was really interesting because it's like things kind of like come in and surf across me for a while. And I remember the Honopono was the thing that was going on for a long time. And I'm thinking, I don't even know what this is.

KATHLEEN: I really, truly, I did not know what this was. And when I learned it was about that forgiveness, it was like, oh, well, that's like such a cool thing. So sometimes when you're ready, things appear to you. You may not understand it because I remember that other one where you bow the, on a stay.

KATHLEEN: Oh God, I can't think of, I've got the word wrong. I know, but it's my, my higher self sees the higher self in you kind of thing. Namaste, namaste. That's it. And when I understood what that was, cause I was, when it first started happening, I was like, what are they doing? I don't understand what's going on here.

KATHLEEN: And that's all it was, is that they were recognizing the higher self in me. And I was like, oh, well, I already saw that. And so just kind of look at the magic that happens because as you start growing and allowing this, there's so much more magic that comes. And that childlike excitement that you had comes back. I would never have thought it would, but it does.

KATHLEEN: And I remember my uncle told me years ago before he passed that. I was everyone's favorite because I was always so happy to see everyone. I was full of love. I ran up to him and hugged him and kissed him. And I'm like, what? I did? And I had no idea. And I am getting back to that little girl because that's the little girl I wanted to be.

KATHLEEN: And I am getting back to that little girl. So that means I've got me back. And that is a cool place to be. And of course, I am still always seeking spiritual mentors. I mean, therapists are good. I know there's I've met spiritual, I mean, therapists, psychotherapists, but they're spiritual beings and they know that part about themselves.

KATHLEEN: So there's a lot of crossing going on with people. And of course, energy healers are another big one. But you really have to understand and make sure that they've been through the process because anybody can do certain things, but if they haven't done the work, you're not going to get the benefit.

KATHLEEN: And I'm a firm believer right now of wanting to stay and having a coach because I feel that I make the most forward movement with a coach. And it's not like he has to tell me what to do or how to do any things. It's just, it holds me accountable in a way that I never, ever, ever thought possible, where I can sit there and cry all over him because, you know, I'm in my stuff.

KATHLEEN: And I'm feeling like if I'm feeling like a failure, like I haven't done what I'm supposed to do. And it's like, but this is part of the human experience. And I think when you start moving forward in a new direction and you're treading in uncharted waters, having a coach is the biggest advantage that you can give yourself because they've been there.

KATHLEEN: They know what's coming and they can guide you and navigate through these tumultuous waters that you're in because emotionally. As you're growing, everything is shifting. I mean, your emotions are coming up. You're excited. You're scared. You're fearful.

KATHLEEN: There's all sorts of things that come up in the process. And when we give ourselves that opportunity to just be who we are and you have a coach that you trust. I mean, my coaches grew, I grew, we both learned a lot and they meant everything in the world to me because they didn't have to tell me what to do. I was already naturally doing it.

KATHLEEN: It was when I just felt like well, this is bothering me and then it was allowing me, giving me grace that it was okay that if I felt that way, that it was okay. And sometimes, and I always knew that, but sometimes we need that little extra, it's okay, Kath. It's okay if you're a little cranky. We're not perfect all the time.

KATHLEEN: And how many times have I had to go tell myself I'm not perfect? And thank God I'm not perfect. And I don't want to be perfect, but there's still that, there's still that belief out there that I need to be perfect. That still comes up and rears its head every now and then. And when it does, I get a little upset, especially when I'm being held accountable by a coach.

KATHLEEN: And it's like, well, I didn't do this and I failed. And it's like, you didn't fail and you didn't do it. And you're so far ahead of yourself. You don't even realize how far ahead of yourself you are. So sometimes you just need that coach to just make that transition easier to navigate through those rocky waters. And with that, we're going to go ahead and take a quick commercial break.

KATHLEEN: Hello everyone and welcome back to the Journey of an Awakening Spirit. This is Kathleen Flanagan, your host, and we're streaming on the Bold Brave TV network.

KATHLEEN: Triggers are mirrors. They're not your enemies and you just really need to embrace them so you can start healing. And you're going to heal on a very deep level. And the one thing that I know that when I made this decision, is I wanted to get rid of as much garbage as I brought forward in this lifetime, what I've incurred in this lifetime and get rid of it.

KATHLEEN: So I don't ever have to deal with this again. I just remember making that decision a very, very long time ago. And it's a lifelong journey to do that because we've all been on this planet many, many, many, many lifetimes, many, and we incurred a lot of karma and why perpetuate.

KATHLEEN: Reliving with somebody over and over and over because you can't rise above it. And in this lifetime, I decided that I would take whatever I could take on and I would heal whatever I could heal. And I know that when I, cause I know I've decided I wasn't coming back. And if I did come back, I wanted to be fully awakened. That's my attitude.

KATHLEEN: And I know that in this lifetime, I don't have to come back and be with 90% of the people, especially my family, that it's done. It's done. Because I'm not angry. I'm not holding grudges. I've released them. I helped my mother transition. My father is still alive, but he's a mess. And when he dies, he dies. I won't be at the funeral. I have no desire to go to the funeral.

KATHLEEN: I don't speak to my siblings. I have one sister left after all of them. And that's okay, too. I don't have to come back to them. I'm not them. I'm somebody totally different and I've evolved and I've chosen to take that on. And so trust your ability. I mean, most people don't want to give up their family and it's not easy. It really isn't easy. But I decided I could create my own family.

KATHLEEN: I started to realize that there's other things that I can do. And all the misconceptions of what families are supposed to be, I didn't have that. I don't have it. I will never have it in this lifetime. And it's all okay because family is what I choose to make it, not what I am born into. And that's the power that each and every one of you have.

KATHLEEN: So I encourage you to pick a healing practice that's going to help you move through your emotional triggers because that's where your power is going to lie is like just feeling with them. And I'm here. I mean, you can feel free to contact me. I have a 15 minute. Free consultation. Feel free to reach out to me if you need to talk about this or if you want to hire me because I've been there. I know how to get you through this.

KATHLEEN: And then of course, share your experiences with somebody that you trust. I mean, don't just give it out there if you don't want to, but if you need to talk to somebody, make sure that you're doing that. And one of the final affirmations that I want to give you is I honor my triggers as sacred teachers on my journey to wholeness. And that's a very powerful affirmation.

KATHLEEN: And I've had some exciting things happen over the weekend that I just want to share with you. And I contribute a lot of this because of the hard work that I've done on myself. I went out and did book signings over the weekend and I discovered I am out now on the shelves.

KATHLEEN: Barnes & Noble on Colorado Boulevard and in Superior. And now in a couple of weeks, I'm going back and we're going to see if I'm going to get on a couple more shelves. But I think that is so awesome because Barnes & Noble is now making, they have a shelf for local authors that come in and do book signing.

KATHLEEN: So I, that was like, oh my God, I'm on the shelves of Barnes & Noble. I would never have thought. And then they tell me that even when I'm not doing book signings, people are coming in and buying my books. So thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of those, you who are doing this and supporting me.

KATHLEEN: I really, truly appreciate this because those were very hard books to come out. And I really battled and wrestled with myself on them and the fact that people are buying them. And now that I'm actually on a shelf in a major bookstore is huge for me. Huge.

KATHLEEN: So I just wanted to say thank you for that. And I wanted to give a shout out to Barnes & Noble because it's so greatly appreciated with that. And I also, I mean, I do have things to help you with your soul journey for remembering how to do deep healing work. The Heal Emotionally Now is an amazing healing meditation that has the Archangel Ariel in it.

KATHLEEN: And it really does help deep seated. Painful relationships to get a rise above it because I used it with my mom because years after she died, I was still angry and I knew it was holding me back and I couldn't forgive her for everything yet. And I went in there and I was blown away of what I experienced. I was blown away. I don't know the whole conversation.

KATHLEEN: I wasn't privy to that, but it didn't matter because her oversoul came in and I realized that no matter how dark or ugly somebody appears to be, you're not going to be able to see it. That we all have an oversoul and that oversoul and the love that you feel from an oversoul is so amazing that she had to be loved somewhere.

KATHLEEN: I mean, she got lost and supposedly my mom found her way back because she came to me in a dream about what a year or two ago, letting me know she was okay. And I'm like, good, I'm glad, but you're not welcome here. And I really mean that. I mean, I'm really over with my mother and it's okay. I love her. And I learned the lessons I needed to learn from her. And that's all and that's all good.

KATHLEEN: And, I don't have to put up with that anymore either. I don't have to participate in any of that. And that's the thing about you is you make those decisions about your life. Nobody else does. And their decisions are yours and they're right for you if you make them. Well, I want to thank all of you for joining me today.

KATHLEEN: I really do appreciate your support. If you found any value. I would appreciate it if you would like or subscribe to the channel or give it to a friend or a loved one who is in need of help. So that way they can get this. And if you subscribe to the channel, you'll get the notifications of the new show coming up every Tuesday.

KATHLEEN: And again, like I said earlier, if you're struggling, feel free to use my calendar link and set up a call with me for 15 minutes and find out if there's anything I can do to help you in the process. My books, Dancing Souls, The Call, The Dark Night of the Soul, and Awakened are on amazon.com and in some of the Barnes & Noble stores.

KATHLEEN: And you can buy them from Barnes & Noble. And they're on the KathleenMFlanagan.com site. And I do have an author special that if you buy all three books, there's a 15% savings and they would be autographed to you or whoever you would like. And then also visit the Kathleen M.

KATHLEEN: Flanagan site for the list of services and products that I'm offering. Tthere is a free three minute de-stress meditation that can just help bring peace and tranquility back into your life. And it's yours absolutely free. You do not have to give me an email. It is my gift to you.

KATHLEEN: And that concludes the show for today. And I will see you all next Tuesday at 4 p. m. Eastern Standard Time. And we are going to have Mike Spermulli on. The show. And you are more than welcome to call in because he is the vibrational astrologer.

KATHLEEN: And he is going to help us navigate the next quarter of all the changes that are going on up in the sky so you can be in control of your life. So I hope to see you there. And from my heart to yours, I hope you have a fabulous week.