Finding Your Way Home

KATHLEEN: Hello everyone and welcome to the journey of an awakening spirit. This is Kathleen Flanagan, your host and we're streaming on the Bold Brave TV Network.

KATHLEEN: The purpose of the show is to help you realize that you are not alone that you are in control of your life. It does not matter where your lot in life came from or what the circumstances are. We're all exper we've all experienced pain, suffering, hurt, abandonment, loneliness and hopelessness.

KATHLEEN: The show is here to help you turn those dark moments around and create a whole new you despite your success. Have you felt lonely, angry, frustrated, or even suicidal? Do you long to be supported? Recognized and respected for who you are not just for the awards and accolades on your walls.

KATHLEEN: You don't want to be known, identified or remembered in a way that feels fraudulent because you achieve things out of obligation and not passion.

KATHLEEN: Do you find yourself sitting quietly at lunch listening to what lights you up? Only to feel shame, fear, frustration, and resentment. Your inner turmoil and limiting beliefs surface, making you feel not good enough and afraid of doing something different. You've read the books, attended the seminars and practiced, practiced new concepts and principles.

KATHLEEN: Yet you still find yourself in the same rut, the lies you tell yourself, perpetuate a cycle of disappointment. You say you'll change but your self limiting beliefs keep running the show, creating a self fulfilling prophecy.

KATHLEEN: As a certified coach, I empower you to become your authentic soul self, my soul journey program aligns with you, your true self and guide you to find your soul vision, helping you, helping you to discover your purpose in life. I provide tools to step into your true magnificence and remember who you are. If you are interested in learning more, contact me at Brave TV, at Kathleen M Flanagan. Com.

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KATHLEEN: Each week. We start the show with the sound of tuning forks, bringing in love, happiness and balance to set the tone for the show and bring out the best in both myself and my guest. Let's begin.

KATHLEEN: Zak Lioutias is a beacon of light in the realm of spiritual awakening and empowerment with a profound understanding of personal energy, frequency and a deep connection to the divine. Zak serves as a guide mentor and catalyst for transformation with a blend of spiritual wisdom and practical insight.

KATHLEEN: Zak empowers others to unlock their inner potential, overcome obstacles and manifest their deepest desires in alignment with their creator. Throughout her own journey, Zak has discovered the transformative power of aligning with God's frequency.

KATHLEEN: Now she shares her insights and experiences with others, offering guidance on how to navigate life's changes with faith, grace and resilience, harnessing the frequency of God's presence and living a life of purpose, abundance and spiritual fulfillment. Welcome, Zak.

ZAK: Well, thank you for having me finally on camera.

KATHLEEN: I know, right. It's only taken like 678 months, something like that.

ZAK: All in God's timing, all in God's timing.

KATHLEEN: I know, right? And that's kind of how I see things anyways with this. So let's talk about the new things that are coming up in your life and what we've been discussing because there's a lot of changes coming on the earth about us going home. So I'm gonna let you go ahead and start the show.

ZAK: Oh, we're ready the channel right away. I've been channeling all day. There's a lot happening in the world right now. I mean, I'm not even get into politics because that you can have your own politics and no politician is gonna save you. So the only politician that may save you is Zeus and Jesus at the same time, but that's the end of it.

ZAK: There's a lot of energies going on right now, energetically in order to raise your vibrational frequency and tap into something greater than yourself. For the last, I think it was last week or the week before I felt sick and I had a sore throat, my nose was runny. I couldn't even lift my head off my pillow.

ZAK: And the whole time I kept on saying to myself, I never get sick. Why is this coming up? Well, I had a lady that I've connected with because I'm doing a road show and she was sick too. And she says, Zak, something's in air and I said, yeah, it's called activating your spirit to awaken the truth of who you are.

ZAK: And that's where coming back home came from when you and I start discussing this because when we come back home, we let go of all the burdens, all the pain, the suffering, the trauma, we let go of all the earthly stuff. I call it the flesh and we step into our spirit. We're not worried about politicians. We're not worried about an economy.

ZAK: We're not worried what other people think about us because we are not living in this vibrational frequency. As I'm saying this, I'm getting goosebumps because it's really about coming home to the creator, to your own creator. So how you see your creator and how you allow your creator to see you is how you will raise your vibrational frequency.

ZAK: And with everything going on in my life right now, it's just like, how much more can I raise my vibrational frequency? I feel sometimes I'm like Peter Pan just flying in the cosmos wondering like, can I go higher than this? Can I go higher? And of course, you can, you could always go higher.

ZAK: And that's where I just love being in the Galaxies and really tapping into things that maybe don't make sense on the earth reel. But however, they make sense to your spiritual realm and that's what truly matters right now. I have a lot of friends going through it and they always say to me, Zak, it's so refreshing talking to you because I don't feel like a weirdo. And I said weird is good.

ZAK: Enjoy the weirdness. So if you're ever feeling down and you feel like, oh, I'm going through a weird phase. Just know that you are coming closer to home, which is your truth.

ZAK: So if you want to live in your truth, you're going home and if you want to live in the flesh, you're living a huge lie because the illusion that we're living in right now with everything happening, it's a fake, a false persona so they could start continuously playing with the number one instrument your mind.

KATHLEEN: Well, when I look at it going home is going in because in order to go home, we have to go in because nothing is on the outside of us, everything is on the inside. And as I, the more I go in and the deeper I go, the more I discover about myself and the more I bring light into those darker recesses.

KATHLEEN: So I'm having a lot of different kinds of more on a positive, not so much on the dark side or negative side or the limiting beliefs. It's like all of a sudden, there's like these new thoughts that are coming up and like, where did you come from? And it's not a negative, limiting belief.

KATHLEEN: It's something that's like just lurking, you know, like there's a little bit more awareness of coming in on some of my thought patterns that I never even knew that were there. So when I'm having successes, it's like, well, why? And it's like, where did you come from? And it's just little weird things that it's like, where did you come from?

KATHLEEN: I don't know yet. I haven't figured it out other than maybe it's somebody else's thought that landed and it's time to release whatever that was because I want to get into the depth of who I am. And the only way to do that is just keep going further inside and as I go further inside, I'm going higher up into vibrational frequencies as you talked about.

KATHLEEN: And sometimes we just have to be sit and be in that vibrational energy because we don't know how to navigate it yet because navigating those other vibrational frequencies is not this 3d world and it's about learning how to navigate within that as well.

ZAK: Yeah, I love that. You said negative because I don't look at much as negative anymore. And that's something I learned a few years ago when people say, oh, that's such a negative thing that happened to me like, well, why would you say it's negative?

ZAK: And then they go on and I said, well, I think that's pretty positive because look what came out of that. So I call everything same. It's all same. And I learned this probably 20 years ago when I was in Costa Rica when my yoga teacher said it's all same, same. And I'm like, what's this guy talking about?

ZAK: Same thing? Like there's no that doesn't make sense to me right? There is positive, negative, it's dark and there's light, but really it is a same, same situation because you get to learn who you are. And in the darkness is where there is light. I don't live in the darkness.

ZAK: I help people come out of that darkness. So when we're living in that darkness, is it a limiting belief that we bestowed upon our own self? Or is a limited belief that we allowed others to put on to us and we made it our own. So when you start to unravel all this so called darkness, which is really light because that light's coming through you, then you start to see, oh wow.

ZAK: There is no such thing as negative because this just allowed me to grow and evolve and to be someone that I've wanted to be. But I didn't think I could be because of the thoughts that were rolling through my mind. And that's why I say our mind is our highest commodity.

ZAK: And the enemy loves to attack our mind. The enemy loves to attack our soul. And that's why I don't live in the flesh. I live in the spirit because the spirit is like, I don't have time for that because I live in a whole different dimension.

ZAK: And when you allow yourself to live in a different state of mind, again, mind you start to see life differently and then you can't really unsee that you can't unsee that. So like you said, the limited beliefs, like who put these limited beliefs on you? Because from my understanding, God said, here come to the world child and you can have anything you want.

ZAK: But then all of a sudden you're like your parents like, oh, you can't have that or you don't know that or you need to go to school for that or your teacher, like my teacher, my grade, I'll never get my grade one teacher. You will never amount to anything. And I was like that, that literally suppressed me until I was 45 years old.

ZAK: Suppressed me because he made me believe that I was a nothing at that time. I allowed his words to impact my own growth. And that's why about going inside, about going back home, like you said, it is about going inside because you get to see your light and other people's false beliefs or narratives about you that they're projected on you.

ZAK: So everything to me is same, same. And I stayed in the point where I like to realize and turn things around because that's what God's all about. God's all about turning things around for you. So don't hold yourself hostage in other people's words.

KATHLEEN: And I, I agree with that because the minute that I decided that I think three years ago when I wanted to really learn how to be happy because I never felt happy. I always thought outside made me happy and I wanted to really start changing how I was showing up in the world because on the inside I was ok.

KATHLEEN: But I wasn't necessarily telling my face to be happy and letting people know I was happy because, we judge people based on how we're emoting our emotions, whatever that looks like.

KATHLEEN: And I know that I'm a very serious person and I have a tendency to be very focused and dialed in that sometimes it scares people because if they distract me, it's almost like I have the wolf stare at him is what I've been told because I don't necessarily hear him. I say, ok, and I come back and then when I come out of that place, it's like, what did you say?

KATHLEEN: And I didn't realize how much I did that, but it was brought to my attention and I wanted to be a lot lighter because, I got the Sal at home that's always laughing at everything and it's like, how do you do that? What I want to be more like you.

KATHLEEN: And it's just because of how he shows up in the world and it's just about being smiling and happy and I know that made a big difference because I watched my whole world outside of me change. I stopped judging so much of whatever I thought were negative, limiting beliefs or positive. It didn't matter. I started like what you said, I stopped going positive or negative because I'm the only one putting the judgment on it.

KATHLEEN: I'm doing that, being angry, it's not right, wrong, good or bad. It's an emotion and you put your attention on it, you judge it. I never had an issue with my anger but everyone else does and that's their shit as far as I'm concerned. It's like, hey, it's my friend and it was my friend. It was my life saving.

KATHLEEN: It was what I held on to my life with for the longest time until I was able to let go of that lifeline and trust that I'm taken care of by God. But that was me again going inside to find that light of going inside because there's no other way to get home because God's not outside of me. We like to think that we're told that but he's not, he's inside of us, whatever. God looks like to anybody.

KATHLEEN: So that's why I wanna just say that because it's so it is about how we perceive and then how do we show up in the world? I mean, yes, we're still gonna get angry and frustrated, but that's ok.

KATHLEEN: Oh, you're human, you're human. That's what you do.

ZAK: If you spoke to me at one o'clock this afternoon, I was pissed because my work and this is something that is like, I don't have time for the enemy right now. And I was angry and I was like, I'm fine to be angry. And if you're going to judge me for that, that's your problems in 20 minutes, I'll be happy again because I just went through this roller coaster. Right.

ZAK: So this is the whole thing. Like I've been writing a lot because I've been doing a lot of challenge, the last few days and anger just pent up emotions that you haven't even solved. So if someone triggers you, anger starts raging out, so it's anger trying to say to you, hey, why don't you just kind of slow down there for a minute and really realize what's happening in your life and move from that point on.

KATHLEEN: Ok. Well, we're gonna go ahead and take a quick commercial break.

KATHLEEN: Welcome back everyone to the journey of an awakening spirit. This is Kathleen Flanagan, your host. And we're streaming on the Bold Brave TV Network and I wanted to say one thing when you said that you went, you got angry earlier and I know that you were. And what was interesting is when you said, well, what's the question because somebody actually asked me that last week.

KATHLEEN: Well, what's the question that fear has to bring is telling you if you're feeling fearful, what's the question. Well, I never looked at asking fear, why are you showing up in my life? And when I asked that, because I was in the process of really starting to move forward to make calls and get out emails and promote my show or my coaching business.

KATHLEEN: The question, when I asked the question, what was the answer?

KATHLEEN: Well, what if they say yes, I mean, it was like, wow, that I didn't even know what to think about that because that was such a unique thought because I know how to do everything else. But I just didn't know the answer to yes. So I love when somebody suggested that and then you said the same thing of like, well, I'm angry, why am I being angry?

KATHLEEN: Because we know in 20 minutes we will be different. But what's the, what's the message now to do that? So if anybody's out there and has any questions for either Zak or I on what we're talking about, feel free to, send in, I guess a chat and we will get this taken care of.

KATHLEEN: So, Zak, I'm gonna turn this back over to you because I just wanted to just reiterate what when you ask a question of an emotion that you're judging to really find out what the answer is because there's no reason to judge it. You're just triggered for some reason and you just need to know what that answer is to shed light on and get back into peace and happiness.

ZAK: Yeah, I want to talk about this. I know a lot of people don't talk about the devil, but I'm going to talk about the devil because the devil is real sometimes because it takes control of this and tries to take control of your life.

ZAK: So when I'm always doing podcasts or lives or I have a big mess to send something always breaks down, something always isn't working properly. Something always has to be interrupted. And I always get in the state of you will never allow me to say this message. But guess what? I am stronger than your weakness.

ZAK: So I'm gonna give myself permission to be pissed off right now because the camera is not working. But I know in 20 minutes, I'm gonna say the message. So you're not winning here. So give that emotion some space for you to grow. And I said this, I say this to people all the time.

ZAK: The enemy knows your message. The enemy knows your purpose. The enemy knows your path. The enemy knows your life better than you know your life. I'm telling you this. I've been playing in this field since I was three years old. This isn't anything new to me.

ZAK: And when people say there's no such thing as the darkness, there's no such thing as the devil. Listen, it's all written in the Bible. You wanna be chased by this thing up in the mountains. Ok. So you're not anything special, Jesus is there and he got chased. Do you think you're not gonna get chased? Come on now, let's keep it real.

ZAK: And as we're going back home here, so as I'm going through this whole scenario and I'm like, ok, well, I guess I gotta change and I'm gonna do this next show and I'm cool with that because maybe I wasn't prepared for the show.

ZAK: Maybe I didn't have my messaging right for the show and the camera wasn't working because as much as I had a lot of words to say, maybe I didn't have the right delivery at this point and I was cool. You know what? I went to half an hour later, I called my IT guy and I said, I don't have time to play right now.

ZAK: You got to get this fixed and he was on it in two minutes like he was like, yeah, I don't know. Let's see, let's check this out. So the thing is, is that when you just continue moving on and doing what you are meant to do, even when the interruptions get in the way, what are you doing?

ZAK: You're overcoming whatever obstacles that are in your way and you start to raise your vibration, raise your vibration, raise your vibration and in that raising of the vibration. Yes, you may get swapped down again by someone else saying something to you, but it's up to you what you make your own.

ZAK: I'm not going to tell what anyone says to me. I just kind of look at people and Kathleen says she has this lioness. Look in her. I just kind of have a look at people like I don't have time for foolishness anymore. I'm 51 years old. I literally learned it. I said the 1st 50 years were my learning years. The next 50 years, yes, I'm gonna live to 100 and 11. The next 50 years are my happy years.

ZAK: And it wasn't like I wasn't happy the 1st 50 years. But you learn, you grow, you evolve and you don't take people's BS, you don't have time for foolishness because now you have more life behind you than you might have in front of you. And you don't have time to play that game. You just gotta keep on going, keep on going, keep it going, stay on purpose.

ZAK: And that's what coming home is all about. It's about learning what you went through to not allow it to repeat itself. So just like Kathleen said, if you have any questions, put them in the comments, don't be shy, don't be that person behind the camera and be like, oh, I wish I could ask this, ask it, ask it because we've been down this alley. Kathleen, she's written three books about the dark side.

ZAK: I speak about it all the time. I'm getting goose. I'm saying this to y'all. I speak about it all the time because I went through depression. I'm not embarrassed to say I went through depression. But when I was going through depression, you would never know that because I wore the mask. So now when I took off the mask and expressed everyone my truth.

ZAK: Yeah, I went through depression, I went through anxiety, went through suicide. I learned what panic attacks are. If you go through panic attacks, may God heal you? I had one panic attack in my life and I swore I will never have it again because I was convulsing so bad. I even asked God, what is this? And I heard a panic attack. I said take this away from me. This doesn't belong to me because it is awful.

ZAK: It's the worst feeling anyone could feel. So if you have panic attacks, breathe, don't allow your mind to overcome anything that says that you can't because you could do whatever you want. Just a matter of putting your mind to it. And really again, I'm gonna talk about that. Coming back home, home is where your heart is. Yes. You may feel pain in your heart.

ZAK: You may feel self doubt. You may feel angry. You may feel resentment. But those are the emotions that create anger because remember anger is a pent up emotion of unsolved other emotions that are a part of it. So once you start healing through the, the layers of emotions you will start to rise and realize, well, there's more to life than this block that I'm feeling.

KATHLEEN: Totally agree with that. And I had my panic attacks when I was buying this house, I thought I was gonna die every night because I couldn't breathe. And I had to talk myself through that panic attack and I didn't know it was a panic attack. I thought I was actually having a heart attack.

KATHLEEN: So that was because I was moving and changing so rapidly that if my ego was in utter fear and terror, I didn't feel fear because I was trusting that I'm being taken care of and provided for. But in bed it was like, whoa, I can't breathe. And it's like if you die, it's ok, you've accomplished everything you want. It's ok and just breathe, just breathe through it.

KATHLEEN: And I did. And it was amazing because when I finally got on the other side of that panic attack, everything had changed in my life. And I realized, and I found out probably two or probably two weeks to four weeks afterwards that I was doing a major, major paradigm shift that I was dumping so many limiting beliefs and self talk, negative self talk that I did to myself.

KATHLEEN: So many things were walking out the door, but I didn't know it. But that's what our ego does that holds on to what to keep you safe. And I have and your ego is who you are. So you're never going to get rid of it.

KATHLEEN: So you need to befriend your ego because that's something people don't do. It's like, well, I just assume, slice the ego, I just assume hate myself because I have this limiting belief and all you're doing is you're perpetuating the darkness, the devil self talk, whatever you wanna call it, that's what you're still doing.

KATHLEEN: And when that's coming up, you need to just love yourself, just come back into the light and love yourself because this is who you are. I mean, you came in here, this is your being, this your thought process is look at what it is. What's coming up for you and then breathe through it and keep moving.

KATHLEEN: Because the way I see to stay where I wanna go is I keep my eye on the target, whatever that is, wherever that goal is because there's always gonna be life in here. And I can say, ok, well, I don't believe in what this is over here long enough. I'm gonna let this all distract me and I live like my 1st 50 years like that. Not anymore. Not anymore.

KATHLEEN: Because I'm finding the more I stay focused on my target, the faster I accelerate in my upward movement, the more aware I become, the more at peace I feel within myself. Because that was another thing is when you go home. You start finding peace because that was something that was never, it was always chaos on the inside.

KATHLEEN: No matter how peaceful I may have looked, I was still chaotic and I feel peace now in a way that I have never felt peace. It's like this is wonderful. I don't ever want to lose this either. Kind of like, I don't want anything to disrupt my happiness. I don't want anything to disrupt my peace anymore either.

ZAK: Peace is a very expensive emotion. And I love everything you said. And I want to say this is that the enemy always attacks you at night because that's when you're at your comfort zone. It's almost like that's when you're most relaxed and then he goes, oh yeah. Let me go in there and start playing with their mind. Let me start playing with their emotions.

ZAK: I get woken up at 3-4 o'clock in the morning with anxiety attacks sometimes. And I'm just like, yo, like, and I'm like ghetto at this time, right? Because now you're waking me up and now the ghetto of me is going to come out of me. I'm like, yo, why are you even bothering me? You know who my boss is? Yo, his name is God, his name.

ZAK: So I don't know why you're even coming here and disrupting my sleep. And then I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, I don't have time for this. I got to be up in two hours. So you need to go, you need to go and no word of a lie start praying to Mother Mary. And all of a sudden I'm snoozing, I'm snoozing.

ZAK: So if you feel like you're going to bed and all of a sudden all these thoughts are coming to your mind, that's because you're at your most relaxed at that time and even if you're in bed and you're relaxed and then your mind starts going off, what I would say is do a mind dump, just let everything go out of your mind as you're writing it out so that you could have that peaceful sleep.

ZAK: And then once you get into that state and you're so peaceful, like you don't want anyone interrupted, especially with someone saying, oh you can't do that or you can't do that. It's like playing in your head and you're like, yo, I don't know who you're talking to but that, that's not me. So you must be going to the wrong house right now.

ZAK: So you need to leave and every time I say this, it's like I don't get attacked. If like three months later again, it'll happen or four months later. I don't even know, I don't pay attention to it and it's just like you're back and you're annoying me and because you have to take control of your own mind, especially if you watch the news before you go to bed.

ZAK: I don't know why people would watch the news before you get, but sometimes I watch, like gangster shows before I go to bed and that's like another bad thing to watch. But sometimes I do that and it just makes me feel kind of normal. Like, in a weird, trying to feel normal is interesting. Right.

ZAK: So, really allow yourself to mind up before you go to bed so you could find that inner peace. And I can guarantee you those thoughts that are holding you up at night are the most useless thoughts that are literally taking away your sleep and most importantly, your peace. And I have actually a word that I say that it's probably because you're going through high functioning depression.

ZAK: And that's what happens is that we keep on going through this state of mind in our bed, we have these masks on that. Everything's perfect during the day. Everything is amazing. We have a great job. We have maybe a really good family, but our spouse and I don't really get along, but we're going to have that white picket fence, the dog and everything so that we can look like the beavers that everything is right.

ZAK: I just hate myself there, but I'm good. And then we really look at ourselves and wake up in the morning. The first thing we do is people pick up your phone and you're like, oh, let me see what the world is doing. Who cares what the world is doing? What is your inner world doing?

ZAK: What is your inner world doing? That's what matters most. So I've come to conclusion, well, because God told me this and made me aware of this is that you most likely are going through high function, depression because you are masking your own truth of unhappiness.

ZAK: And this is what Kathleen was saying earlier. I want to keep my happiness. I wanna keep my peace because 50 years we had to learn how it wasn't. And then 50 years after we're gonna learn how it is. So it's really up to you what you want to do in your life.

KATHLEEN: Well, we're gonna go ahead and take a quick commercial break.

KATHLEEN: Welcome back, everyone to the journey of an awakening spirit. This is Kathleen Flanagan, your host and we're streaming on the Bold Brave TV Network and I have Zak Lioutas in the room with us today. So if anything is resonating with you guys, could you just like put an emoji in the comments or something?

KATHLEEN: So we know that if we're touching something, if you have any questions really seriously, feel free to ask it because either one of us are more than happy to help you because neither one of us want you to suffer. We don't want you to be in the darkness.

KATHLEEN: You're not alone by any stretch of the imagination because both Zak and I have been through some pretty deep, intense stuff in our lives and we both actually work not together, but we work on bringing you out of darkness. We know how to go into the deepest recesses of darkness to pull the light in for you to assist you. So you can start coming back and stepping into your true magnificence.

ZAK: I love saying, let me fight your demons for you. Yes, I say that.

ZAK: You know what I say, I say for.

KATHLEEN: The movie, what dreams may come where Robin Williams went into hell to get his wife out because she committed suicide. And I tell people, I said that's what I do.

KATHLEEN: I can go into all the demons that you carry inside of you and I will find you and I will bring you back. I am not afraid of that darkness.

ZAK: No, you can't be afraid of that darkness. I mean the darkness is really your light. That's just you have suppressed your own emotions and your own spirit. That's what the darkness is. And when you start to learn to just I say, take the lid off the pot and when you take that lid off the pot, the steam is gonna come up, right?

ZAK: Because it's been suppressed for so long. And then as it comes up, you start to find that inner peace within yourself. But at first, it's not gonna be easy. At first, nothing is easy when you create change in your life.

ZAK: And I remember when I first, this is way before I met you, Kathleen, when I first came out of the depression state of my life. And here I was, and I was doing stuff and I said, God, you just tell me what I need to do and I'll do it. And I do a Facebook Live. This is when Facebook Live first come out. I said, you must be crazy.

ZAK: You want me to go on Facebook and tell people I was depressed. And I was like, yeah, you said you will do whatever we ask you to do. And I'm like, I don't want you people know my business.

ZAK: Now I just tell people my business because I know that I felt like I was alone in depression. I felt like I was suffering alone in depression. I did that Facebook Live. I started having 100 people watching me on Facebook Live because I was just speaking about depression. I said, you know what? This is what I went through.

ZAK: I was hiding in my pain. I was hiding in my suffering. And every time I walked out of my door, you know what I'd say? This stays home. Put that happy face on and let me tell you how exhausting I was, it was so exhausting because I wasn't truly being me. I come home and I was like, I could be back into my suffering again.

ZAK: And that was something that I learned that you know what, there's no more suffering period because I need to learn and grow through this. And I've had people say to me that hung out with me in that time of depression, I would have never known that you were depressed. I said, you don't know how exhausting it was when I got home.

ZAK: And then what happened to me is I start getting social anxiety because I didn't want to go out. I didn't want people to know like, because if someone was around me and they're like, oh, everything's good, I could smell the BS. So I didn't want other people to smell my BS because I wasn't good.

ZAK: I was just a good actress and that was the whole thing when I came home and I was exhausted. I'm like, I'm not going out for another month. I was exhausted. But what I did and I would never do it again. Now, if I'm going through a thought process, literally five minutes, it's gone.

ZAK: Look at my anger didn't last for long. It was like, I gotta get rid of this. I got things to do. I don't have time for this and you learn to grow around that now I just kind of sit and go, you know what this is coming up for a reason. But back then I used to live in it.

ZAK: I used to marinate in it like I would turn myself back and forth just like, oh, that's not well done. That's a little medium rare right now. That's too rare. Let me flip on the other side and this is why I say to a lot of women you are not alone on this journey. There is a lot of women. I mean, depression is one of the highest ranked for women out there.

ZAK: You have a family, you have a career, you have a spouse, you have a household. You think you're super woman, you're afraid to ask for help because you don't want to seem weak. You sit in your mind, you don't want people to judge you. All these things as women you go through, we go through and just like it's like the pressure pot like it's gonna bubble, it's about to blow up.

ZAK: But when you take that lid off that steam, it's like, whoa, it's that I feel that word freedom coming up because you're no longer hiding and suffering in your pain. So leave us a comment, send us an emoji, show us some love. Let us know if this resonates with you.

KATHLEEN: Well, my avatar as you know is what you're saying, suffering in silence even though I don't want to say that it's what we do. Everybody suffers in silence. I don't care if you're a man, woman or child or an animal, animals don't suffer like we do, but they still suffer because they have pain.

KATHLEEN: But the whole point is, is, how many times do we put on these false faces of, everything's fine. Look at, see I've got all these awards but they don't mean anything to you because you're doing it out of expectation, you're doing it because that's what you were told to do more or less. It's not where it comes from you because you're not living from your heart.

KATHLEEN: And I think that was the biggest thing that bothered me the most is, it's like these awards mean nothing, and they say back, 20 about 20 years ago, Bob Proctor, Mark Victor Hanson, all of them, put your awards on the walls, look at them, recognize and acknowledge them and they meant nothing.

KATHLEEN: I mean, I did something I should be proud of them but I, if they meant nothing because I didn't have anything inside of me that meant anything. And I think, and when you don't have anything inside of you because I didn't think I had any value at all. And so those meant nothing.

KATHLEEN: They mean something now to me because I did it and, like my dancing championships, I can sail a 40 ft sailboat. I'm really freaking proud of that stuff because those things meant something now, they mean more than they did at the time because I was just searching for me like, what's gonna make me happy?

KATHLEEN: And those things still make me happy when I was in Cabo and I got to go on a catamaran and I was like, oh my God, I'm back on the water. I was so happy because it had been so long since I've been on a boat like that because I live in Colorado. We don't do ocean sailing over here, but it was something that it was just so nice to come back.

KATHLEEN: And then just like, remember how this used to make me feel when I didn't have anything inside. Certain things made me feel good dancing, made me feel good sailing, made me feel good. Those were the things that kept me going until I could go inside and really find out what's wrong up here.

ZAK: Yeah, that's because you have to go back home to realize the truth of who you are and how the creator sees you. This is one assignment I did with one of my clients and literally her life changed. I asked her one question and the question was how does your creator see you?

ZAK: Because she's going through cancer. She's going through a transition in her life and she looked at me and she goes, what do you mean, I said, well, who is your creator? What is your creator? What does he look like?

ZAK: How does he feel? How does he guide you? I said, and how does he see you? How has he created you? I said, I'm going to give you a week on that assignment when I connected with her the week after she said the most beautiful things.

ZAK: And she said, my creator sees me as healthy, sees me as vibrant. I don't have any illness. This cancer is here to show me something different. And she went on and on and on. Of course, I shed tears when I talk to my clients because it's almost like saying to me like they're getting it now. They're seeing something deeper within themselves.

ZAK: And I said, I want to say this to you right now because I don't even see you since the first day I met you. I've never seen you have cancer. And I'm a cancer patient. A previous cancer. I don't want to say survivor because I survived a lot of things in life. And cancer was my true wake up, and because I was 25 years old, I was partying, I was doing drugs.

ZAK: I was doing, I was drinking alcohol. I was partying like, the world was gonna end the next day. But God stop that with cancer and said no more child. And it was in my throat because I was never allowed to speak. I was always that shut up and sit there be seen and not heard or don't say too much because people are gonna think you're crazy, you know.

ZAK: And then once I went through that cancer in my throat, it was like, no, God gave me this voice for a reason. It took me many years even after that to use my voice. And now people say to me, Zak, you just say the way it is. And I'm like, yeah, that's the way I was born to be.

ZAK: If you don't like it and if you get triggered by it, I'm not saying it to hurt you. But if it's triggering you, that's because you have some unhealed emotions going on inside of you. But I'm not going to stop me for being me because it's gonna bring up something for you because that's gonna make you more powerful to see something deeper within yourself.

KATHLEEN: I agree. I was the same way I was supposed to be seen and not heard. If I opened my mouth and said anything, I would get slapped. I was always going to hell according to my mother because I went out and intentionally hurt people. I never went out and intentionally hurt people.

KATHLEEN: I spoke the truth and she didn't like the truth. So that's why I was going to hell and that was her way of trying to control me and there was a point where she couldn't do that anymore because it was, you're the one that's messed up lady, not me.

KATHLEEN: And I don't have to be quiet. And if you're so God fearing, then why are you treating your kids like for garbage? You don't like us. We got that message very loud and clear. So how loving and how wonderful are you being? This guy that God was your being that save you.

KATHLEEN: He didn't do much in my opinion. He didn't do a whole lot because of how she lived her life. She was angry, she was bitter, she was resentful. She always talked about God this and God that and I had to go through the channels of getting to God and they said, what are you talking about?

KATHLEEN: I don't have to go through the saints to talk to God. Where, did you come up with this malarkey? Because that's what she was taught. And I said, this is not a chain of command, this is not the corporate world in this, I was so blown away at some of the things that she would say to me at times that I said, I yell at God too and I swear at him too.

KATHLEEN: I said I do that too. It's like, what do you mean, you're gonna go to hell. I said no, actually I'm not because you want to know why?

KATHLEEN: Because I'm talking to him, I'm giving him all of my pain, all of my frustration, all of my hurt because if he's supposed to be able to take it away, then I have to let him know. I have to let somebody know I'm hurting because it's never gonna go away if I don't admit that I'm hurting and he would take it away from me every time. Yeah.

KATHLEEN: I would hold my hand up and say, God, please hold me. You can't hold your hand, your arm over your head for any length of time without it dying until God holds your hand. And there's no pain ever. I did that once in my twenties, it blew me away of like, why is my shoulder not hurting? And it's because God is holding your hand.

ZAK: Yeah.

ZAK: Well, there's a verse in the Bible that says Jesus wept. And that's the shortest verse in the Bible. And it reminds me, I'm laughing about this now because I had this conversation this morning with Jesus. And I'm like, yo, Jesus, what up?

ZAK: You know, I talked to Jesus, he's my homeboy at times and I talked to, he's like, he's my business partner and I talked to Jesus. He's my lover. I talked to Jesus in many different ways. And today I was speaking about Jesus Sweat because here I am writing, I've channeled messages for people for the roadshow that I'm going to for the next four days.

ZAK: And I was like, jeez, I really wanna cry. And I'm like, now I remember the time, you allowed me to cry and you would cry with me. When I was driving in my car, you're in the passenger seat and there was times where I felt like you were even wiping my tears off of my face and just let it go, child, let it go.

ZAK: I go. I remember the last time I was crying and you told me, what are you crying about? You have nothing to cry about. And I would just laugh and now I just laugh but I cry with people because I feel people's pain. So there's so much to it that we could talk about once we get back.

KATHLEEN: Welcome back, everyone to the journey of an awakening spirit. This is Kathleen Flanagan, your host and we're streaming on the Bold Brave TV Network and we have Zak Lioutas in the room with us and I am going to turn everything back over to her because she still had a little bit more to say before the commercial break and I'm going to let her finish her thoughts.

ZAK: Well, I just wanted to say this is that when we're weeping, it almost feels like a sense of weakness is coming over us. Like there's a part of us that feels weak, but it's in that weakness where we find our strength. And when I said to you, like I have Jesus sitting beside me driving is because he sees the suffering I'm going through.

ZAK: But he's saying, child, you don't need to go through this alone. I am here for you. I am here to guide you. I'm here to empower you. And there is a verse, but I'm not a verse in the Bible that I won't say it verbatim because I don't remember verses verbatim unless it's psalm 23 because that the one that got me through the hell and high water.

ZAK: But there's verses in the Bible that say you can't serve two gods, you can't serve the flesh and you can't serve the spirit together. So understand this is as you're working through the flesh, which is your ego, you're raising your spirit up and that's your godly self. So as you're letting go, you are aligning with the truth of who you are. And that's what truly is coming back home to yourself.

ZAK: See, there was years that I would be crying because I was living someone else's life and not my own life. I was looking outside of me, I knew who I was. I was uncomfortable with who I was because other people were uncomfortable with my truth until I finally said I am not living in anyone else's shoes, but my own shoes. Could you imagine?

ZAK: So you have David and you have Abraham and then you have, Moses and they all came before Jesus, right? And then you have Jesus coming up. Do you think Jesus is gonna live in Moses' shoes or Abraham shoes or David shoes? No, what he did is he found empowerment through his, I gonna say his ancestors that they call him the bloodline of brothers and he found that sense of empowerment to better himself and to be Jesus, right?

ZAK: So Moses Abraham David, they all went through their journey, but Jesus took all those little bits and learned from them and he became the Messiah, he became the almighty master. And this is what life is all about. We learn and grow from each other. I learn and grow from biblical scripture because that's what really gets me through life.

ZAK: Yes, I will hear what you have to say to me. Yes, I will listen to your opinion. But your opinion means nothing to me because that is your opinion. I know a lot of people look at other people's opinions and make it their own. Really? Is someone living in your shoes? Are you allowing people to live in your shoes. Are you giving your shoes away freely and giving your shoes away freely?

ZAK: I don't know why they're using. This metaphor is like you giving away your power. So strap on your shoes, you're gonna go on a journey called life and in that journey called life, you're gonna have to figure out, am I gonna stay with the flesh? Am I gonna be the master of the flesh? Or am I gonna be the master of the spirit?

ZAK: And you have to really work through the flesh to empower your spirit because it's your spirit that is within you that takes you back home. And you start to realize how does the creator see me? The creator does not see you as broke. The creator does not see you as limited. The creator does not see you as angry. The He does not see you as sad.

ZAK: He doesn't see you in a toxic relationship or an environment that is your, that is the flesh, that is your earthly self. So if you're living in anything like that, just know that you are, you can't serve two masters. And if you're living in that place, you have to say, OK, I'm not serving this master anymore. I'm gonna turn to a different master called spirit, the spirit realm.

ZAK: It could be your God. It could be Buddha, it could be Christian. It could be call, it could be whoever you follow to empower you, it could be, you just saying, you know what I'm gonna allow myself to turn this toxicity into positivity. And I always say, don't be a victim, be a victor. And in that sense of being a victor, you're gonna start to grow and evolve.

ZAK: People are gonna fall off of your waistline. Why? Because they're not gonna be able to understand. You'll get called weird, you'll get called, oh she's going through something and now she turned to the Bible or turn to God. I've been hearing this all my life.

ZAK: I put God in the closet for you years and I would come home and be like, oh my God God, this is so difficult hiding you in the closet. And he's like, well, don't hide me in the closet. I used to tell people, oh, just look towards the universe and the universe is God. And then I learned the universe is all the dumps of crap that's out there. It's not just the light, but I'm calling universe. I'm calling everything.

ZAK: I prefer to call on God now. And if there's an issue with people calling on God, that's not an issue with me. That's an issue with yourself. You need to get right with you because my creator allowed me to keep my voice to speak up. I allowed people to suppress my voice which gave me cancer and it took me another 20 years to say the word God because remember I was a Jesus closet lover.

ZAK: Now I preach it all the time. I have people I have my mom even said to me sometimes you're making him dizzy by calling his name so much like he's busy listening to you but he's not dizzy. You're just dizzy listening to me because there's a underlining dark entity that is pissing you off because I keep on saying it.

ZAK: But I see that little entity lingering in there and I'm gonna continue saying it. So don't feel that you could serve two masters and be in pain and suffering and be like, oh God help me. God is helping you. But you know what? You need to walk in those shoes that God is putting on your feet. If you want to change your life.

KATHLEEN: You're perfect whole and complete just the way you are. And you know, that's a very strong, powerful, powerful thing to say to yourself over and over and over again when you don't feel that. So Zak, we're getting ready to wind up the show. So how can people get a hold of you?

ZAK: You can connect with me and my name down there, ZakLioutias.com. I have a retreat coming up as well. If you're in Toronto, Canada or even if you're just in Canada, come fly in and hang out with me.

ZAK: The retreat is called eliminate your brilliance or I'm gonna teach you how to tap into your magical self. I might bring up the name Jesus. I don't know because it doesn't really matter. And yeah, you can reach me on Instagram as well at Spiritual Hustler. That's HSTLR.

KATHLEEN: Well, thank you so much for being on the show today. Zak. I really appreciate it. It's always fun and a pleasure to have you on because we just have so much fun together and we're just, we see things similarly and yet differently.

KATHLEEN: And that's what makes us such a cool pair because I accept your uniqueness as you accept mine. I accept every element of who you are as you accept me. And we know that sometimes we have human moments and it's all OK because we know we see the bigger picture of each other.

ZAK: Immense of that. Thank you for having me.

KATHLEEN: You're welcome.

KATHLEEN: So I want to thank everyone for joining us today. And if you found value here, I would really love it if you would like to like or subscribe to the channel or even send a link to your friends and family.

KATHLEEN: If you think that might help them, if there's something that rang with your heart, if you're struggling with anything that we talked about and would like to have more information, feel free to contact me at Brave TV, at Kathleen M Flanagan. Com and we can sit down and have a conversation. Zak Lioutas's information is on podcast dot Kathleen M Flanagan.

KATHLEEN: So if you wanted to reach out to her. That's exactly where you can get a hold of her too as well as what's gonna be in the show notes. My books, Dancing Souls, the Call the Dark Night of the Soul and Awakened are available on Amazon. Com as well as Kathleen M Flanagan.

KATHLEEN: And then be sure to visit my website Kathleen M Flanagan. Com for a list of the services and products offered there. And I do have a three minute distress meditation that's absolutely free for you.

KATHLEEN: And then just make sure that you visit awakenings spirit.com and grandma's natural remedies and enter Brave TV into the coupon codes. And that concludes our show for today. I will see you all next Tuesday at 4 p. m. Eastern Standard Time and from my heart to yours, I hope you have a fabulous week.