Mastering Paradigms for Personal Success

KATHLEEN: I want to talk about our paradigms. I wanna go a little bit more in-depth about what a paradigm is.

KATHLEEN: How do we form them, how we can change that type of thing? A paradigm is a collection of our thoughts based on our beliefs about ourselves, our world, which generate from our experience and from our results.

KATHLEEN: It is a mental program that has almost exclusive control over your habitual behavior and your almost all of your behavior is habitual. It controls the way you view yourself the world and opportunities. It controls how you approach change and challenge, it controls your success and happiness in life.

KATHLEEN: Your paradigm is on autopilot and it is who you are.

KATHLEEN: A paradigm shift is the only way to bridge the gap between how you're currently living and how you want to live. Our paradigms control our perception, our use of time, our creativity, our effectiveness, our productivity, our logic and our ability to earn money.

KATHLEEN: The paradigm puts a box around each and every one of those areas. And no matter how hard you try, you won't knock down the walls until you change your mental program. You are boxed in. When you make a decision to change, you will hit that wall and being committed to the decision is the only way to remove the wall.

KATHLEEN: How is a paradigm formed?

KATHLEEN: Although everyone has a paradigm, most of us don't create it ourselves. We had inherited through our genetic and environmental conditioning. We were programmed, for example, by our parents and ancestors, DNA, as well as all of their beliefs going back for generations. And that's not all, pretty much everything that you were exposed to as a child also became part of your paradigm.

KATHLEEN: You see when you were a child, whatever happened around you went right into your subconscious mind because you had no ability to reject anything. Any idea that you were exposed to over and over again, were like seeds being planted in fertile soil. They took root and became part of the paradigm that controls every aspect of your life. Now, here's the kicker we're not taught about paradigms in school.

KATHLEEN: Here we are 20, 40, 60 years later living the same way we were programmed as little kids. Paradigms control your vibrations, which are your feelings. To begin with, you have a mission or a reason why you are on the earth and it is so much more than the mundanes of life. You are here for a grander purpose and we may or may not know what that is. You do, however, learn it through your feelings of discontent.

KATHLEEN: Have you noticed that there are times in your life that there is an angst and you can't quite pinpoint where it's coming from. Then when you do discover it, you're gun ho on changing it only to find yourself still in the same rut? That is the paradigm coming through.

KATHLEEN: Your paradigms are so strong that it takes a burning desire to make the change in your life. Your desire or dream has to be stronger than your paradigm. Your forward movement will bring your paradigms to the surface. Most people do not have the tools to break the paradigms and transform them.

KATHLEEN: They also don't like the feeling of being uncomfortable while the change is occurring. Nothing will ever change Ii you do not move through your paradigms. There are four simple steps to move through a paradigm. The first is to acknowledge that you are in bondage. This is where the subconscious and conscious minds are in a comfortable state.

KATHLEEN: You are comfortable. Even if you don't like your results. Mmost people fear change and would rather stay there than change their circumstances. The second stage is reason. This is where an idea comes into the subconscious mind.

KATHLEEN: You entertain it depending on what it is. You could name it, create a brand around it, see yourself selling it, but you don't act on it. You are not emotionally involved yet. You are still in bondage.

KATHLEEN: In the third stage, you go into the terror barrier. You continue to think about the idea, but now you are becoming emotionally involved with the idea. This is where the idea moved from the conscious to the subconscious mind. It butts up against your paradigm and creates worry, fear and anxiety. This stage can be a minor unease or can actually go into a physical crisis.

KATHLEEN: The central nervous system comes into play. You can have panic attacks, think you're dying, believe you're having a heart attack. The paradigm is so afraid of change that it will do anything to keep you from moving forward.

KATHLEEN: This stage is where most people stop just shy of their dream. They do not realize that their paradigm is running the show. This is why you have a mentor who can see where you are and help you to move through this part of your journey.

KATHLEEN: When I went through the terror barrier, I purchased the home that I'm currently living in. I was so terrified of being homeless because in my previous home, I was homeless. My business partner took me in for a couple of weeks because I was struggling getting the loan. He took me in for a couple of weeks until I could get the everything taken care of before I could buy the home.

KATHLEEN: What ended up happening was that I had created a paradigm because I ended up being homeless. I was emotionally involved in this house. At the time, trying to find a home in Denver then was the onset of what the housing market was doing. Of course, I sold that house at the end of that housing craziness.

KATHLEEN: What had happened is I wanted this new house and I was frustrated because I kept butting up against everything under the sun. I didn't know what was happening. I remember there was a point that my lender said we're going to get you the loan Kath.

KATHLEEN: Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, we will get you the loan. I got to a point where I was ready to walk away from that purchase of the home because I couldn't see it happen. I ended up getting the loan and everything was fine. But talk about really going through torture is what it felt like. I felt like the world was against me.

KATHLEEN: Nobody believed that I could do this. Even though I was making money, I could do that. I found out when I purchased this home, it was because I didn't have any credit because I paid cash for everything. I didn't have a lot of credit. That was the biggest reason why we were struggling on getting the loan for the first house.

KATHLEEN: When I came to this house, I was in a mentor program. Something said it's time to buy a house because our office condo was going up for sale and somebody was interested in buying. I said, hold on, you gotta give me till January because I have to sell my home because my business partner wanted to sell the condo. I have to get a bigger place.

KATHLEEN: What ended up happening is in 90 days, I bought the house. The struggle was as I was moving forward into purchasing the home, I was terrified. I kept asking my lender Are you sure, are you sure, are you sure I'm gonna get the loan because I was so afraid of being homeless at that point and they're, you've got it, it's in the bag, don't worry about it.

KATHLEEN: You're fine, you're fine, you're fine. When I put the offer in on this house, I was fine with that. It was putting my house up for sale. That's what scared me to death. During that whole period until the closing date, because my attitude was, it's not a done deal until I signed that last piece of paper.

KATHLEEN: Every night I was in bed and thinking I was having a heart attack because I couldn't breathe. I was in a panic attack. I didn't know it yet. I was always in a panic and it was, it's ok, I'm safe. Everything's fine. If I die today, it's ok. I did everything I needed to do and I didn't understand yet what I was going through. At that point. I was in this experience, I was moving forward.

KATHLEEN: I was looking at getting new carpet and paint and doing everything. I was in this house all the time and it wasn't next door to where I live by any stretch of the imagination. I moved from the city into a rural area in Northeastern Colorado. I was please take me up, please take me up.

KATHLEEN: The poor realtor must have loved me because I wanted to do it. But part of that paradigm shift was seeing that I'm in there. This is my home, I'm living here and visualizing. I was really engaging in everything that I needed to do to own this place. Because if I can see it in my mind, if I can touch it, taste it, smell, it, feel it, experience it.

KATHLEEN: If I could do that, then that means I can create it and manifest it. I was living as if. I was taking all these principles that I needed to do to be able to create this house as I'm in this position of changing a paradigm that is so incredibly strong and overwhelming to me. That's what I did. I kept going through it.

KATHLEEN: I remember when we moved, we started having a blizzard. The day I moved, we went into a blizzard, the truck couldn't get out of my driveway. It was a nightmare and snow and ice everywhere trying to move this house. Just keep going through it. You're in it. It's ok we'll keep going through and it was, it was all good.

KATHLEEN: I remember when I got partially settled where everything was in a place per se. I sat on the couch and I remember going, I don't know where I am. I had realized that I had shifted that paradigm and I was in a vibration that was much higher than I had ever experienced before. I had no knowledge of this energy field that I was in at the time.

KATHLEEN: That's what basically happens when you do this. When I decided to sell the home, that paradigm, kicked in and, and as it kicked in, I kept moving through it. I would talk to people. My partner's saying slow down, you're moving too fast. I'm sorry, I can't, divine providence has taken over and I had to keep moving through it.

KATHLEEN: I did my best to remain calm. But once I was able to sit and actually experience this house after I had moved in, I felt freedom. I realized that paradigm had shifted. That frequency that I stepped up several rungs of the ladder because you can go up from anywhere from one to several. I pushed myself so hard and I believed no matter what.

KATHLEEN: I wouldn't let the doubts come in or stop me in any way that I actually transformed that paradigm, which then was a total transformation of me too. I could never say I can't get this because I actually changed the paradigm. I actually know that I could do it. If I put my mind to it and I want to move into that direction, then I can forever do that and my vibration elevated.

KATHLEEN: I was a higher being. I had more light coming in because I got rid of something that was holding me back for a long time in my life. I was told I was unworthy. I'm undeserving. Why should you have a big house? All those kind of paradigms were coming up not just from the one of being homeless, but there was a lot of paradigms that were wrapped around that whole situation.

KATHLEEN: What I discovered also was things started becoming easier because now I have more tools and new tools in my tool belt that helped me to create the life of my dream. Using that a huge fire under my feet to go into the next phase of what big goal that I'm trying to do.

KATHLEEN: The other thing besides it changes you, it also changes the way you view the world. As you change the way you view your world and act out in the world, people come back and they come towards you and see you and treat you differently.

KATHLEEN: How do you transform your life? When your paradigms are screaming? There are four simple steps, but that doesn't mean it will be easy. The most important one is having a definite purpose. This is your why this comes from your heart and it needs to be bigger than you. There are five questions you need to ask yourself to make your dream worthy of you.

KATHLEEN: Would I feel more alive?

KATHLEEN: Would it require that I grow? Is my dream in alignment with my core values.

KATHLEEN: Do I need help from a higher power? If the answer is no, then it's a goal and you already know how to do it. Is there some good in my dream for others?

KATHLEEN: These are very important when you're going for a goal or a big dream? Because if you don't have any, if you can't answer any one of those five questions, then you're gonna fizzle out. It's not gonna be a burning desire.

KATHLEEN: It's not going to be something that you want to do and when you have something that's bigger than you and your heart is singing towards it, you're gonna keep doing whatever it takes no matter what it takes.

KATHLEEN: Believe me, when you hit your walls or frustration hits or burnout hits, I promise you all that's gonna happen as you're going towards a big dream, what you have to do is remember, it's not a 7-Eleven world and the microwave is way too slow.

KATHLEEN: When you're working on something growth and changing you and going towards a bigger dream of you, it takes time, it takes time because we weren't created like this overnight. When we're dealing with this and paradigms, as we grow and change those paradigms are always going to come up and kick.

KATHLEEN: Some of them are minor and small and some aren't. That is really important when you ask, answering these questions is really make sure that this is something you want to do.

KATHLEEN: The second step is you wanna have a plan and this is what action steps are you going to take?

KATHLEEN: You want to do what you can with what you have. This is what I call baby steps because we don't always know how to get there when we're working and co-creating with God. We don't know how to do it. What we do and how I have found is that I do what I can and then I stop because then I'm waiting for inspiration or ideas or meeting somebody or whatever it is.

KATHLEEN: Take a baby step and one baby steps towards your dream will create it. You want to leave no stone unturned. If you get an idea that pops up, go with it. I know that I've done this my whole life, I have gone and I feel like I'm just going down different rabbit holes.

KATHLEEN: Every single thing that I took to move into the direction of my dream has led me to where I am today, which is right here in front of you. This wouldn't have happened if I would have not taken any one of those steps.

KATHLEEN: Even though you feel like you're going down a rabbit hole or you're all over the place and feeling scattered, that's not necessarily it because those ideas are coming to you for a reason. It helps you to understand, see a bigger picture, expand your world a little bit more because if it doesn't work, it's ok.

KATHLEEN: If it's not failure, it's feedback. I figured one of these days I'm going to land the right combination and it's gonna finally work because I've done a lot of things that came back as it's not the right way. The thing is, it was the same way Edison discovered the light bulb.

KATHLEEN: If it didn't work, on to the next. He did everything he knew if it didn't work, it was always on to the next. It wasn't a negative, it wasn't failure. It was feedback that he didn't have the combination. Right.

KATHLEEN: That's something to think about because he was very instrumental in showing us how to bust through something and, for bringing electricity in at that time was a big deal. He knew he could do it. He worked with people like with Einstein and all of them. They were working with this and he took the naps because he would take his nap, get an idea, get up, do it.

KATHLEEN: If it worked fine. If it didn't, then the next day do the same thing. It's the same thing with us. You want to be persistent. You need to close your mind tightly against all negativity and discouraging influences.

KATHLEEN: That could be one of the hardest things because when your family and friends don't necessarily want to see you fail and they don't want to see you struggle. Sometimes they even don't want you to change. If you change, that means they're gonna have to change. Then people get uncomfortable because it's change.

KATHLEEN: I know that with my businesses. I have people that still hold me up to this day because I still get discouraged and I still get frustrated that it's still taking forever and it's, what do I do? I keep looking into, what is it, what's in me that's stopping me because I'm the only one that's stopping me.

KATHLEEN: I have people that support me and hold me up while I'm going through that because I know it's gonna happen. There's no doubt in my mind. I will have what I want. I don't know when and then the fourth step is you wanna create alliances and this is a mastermind or friendly alliance for people to encourage you to go through with both your plan and your purpose.

KATHLEEN: I currently am in a mastermind with a woman that I was in the coaching program with. There's times, we both sit there at different times, we get frustrated or we're like, when's this gonna happen because it's not happening fast enough.

KATHLEEN: As she looks at me, she sees a lot of change in me and how much I've grown and changed in the time we've been together and even if I'm feeling frustrated or angry or whatever, she holds me up and holds me accountable because the one thing is, is I don't want to come to the table and say, well, you know, I'm just a pissy bitch today and I don't want to be that kind of person and I see the same thing for her.

KATHLEEN: I see that her goal as huge as it is, is going to manifest. There's no doubt in my mind she can't see it because she's in it.

KATHLEEN: Having people that are around to support you really gives you that extra to keep moving forward and it helps to keep your mind in that positive place as well because I know that when I've got somebody holding me accountable, I don't want to look bad because I have this looking good program and I am so not gonna look bad.

KATHLEEN: I get a kick out of the little games that we play. If we play those games with ourselves and they're effective, what's the point? Who cares if they work? They work.

KATHLEEN: Now that you're in alignment with yourself because we talked about that two weeks ago and you have the understanding of your paradigms and how powerful they are and you have a dream and a plan to achieve it. What's next? What else can you do or you need to be aware of that can ensure your success.

KATHLEEN: This is where our higher powers come into play. We have five senses and we perceive our world through sight, touch, sound, hearing, smell and taste.

KATHLEEN: This shows us where our present results are. If you want something different, you have to think differently or do things differently. This is where our higher faculties come into play. This is what sets us apart from the animals.

KATHLEEN: They operate from instinct and you have reasoning capacities, which is your will, reason, perception, imagination, memory and intuition.

KATHLEEN: Your will gives you the ability to stay focused. It's what you want. This is your why. Your reason gives you the ability to choose where you focus your attention. With your perception, you choose to alter how you see things, present results or your dream.

KATHLEEN: This is very important because a lot of times we look like we're standing still and nothing's moving and nothing's changing. Even if we are taking baby steps, it's not moving fast enough or we look like or feel like we're still in the same place. Instead of looking at your present results, you always want to keep your eye on the dream.

KATHLEEN: If you're keeping your eye there, then that means your attention is focused there, you're going to move in that direction. Whatever is coming up and it's also going to help you stop with, that negative self talk that we have a tendency to do when we're starting to feel frustrated and your imagination goes into high gear when you stay focused on your dream.

KATHLEEN: As you stay focused in your dream, your imagination of what's the next step I can take is gonna come up there. Sometimes we get really creative during this process because we're doing something bigger than us.

KATHLEEN: We're moving out of our habitual behaviors. That gets a little uncomfortable. As you do it, there's a lot of things that start moving closer in your direction, towards you. That's where it gets exciting.

KATHLEEN: If you're paying attention and being present in the moment and then you're gonna use your memory to keep moving forward, you're gonna remember where you were and where you want to go. There's a lot of times that I could sit there and say, I don't like where I am right here right now and this is where I want to go.

KATHLEEN: As I use that memory, I'm going into that new direction or if I remember how I was where at one point I couldn't speak for myself and now I can speak and have no fear about that. That's a huge change in transformation in my life. It took a lot when I started to use my voice and speak up for myself.

KATHLEEN: You're going to tap into the universal intelligence to make the conscious choice and then you're going to let it happen. You constantly have to be present. You can do this because it's in your consciousness, it's in the present moment.

KATHLEEN: It's being here now and then the universe comes in and you step out of your way and allow it to come because when we're allowing it, we're receiving. Giving and receiving work hand in hand. We can give and give and give but if we never receive, how are you ever going to get your dream? If you don't know how to, learn how to receive it.

KATHLEEN: That's a big one because I was a big giver but I wasn't always big on receiving. Now thank you, may I have more? I start paying attention to that and saying and being grateful because that's what brings more of the goodness towards you.

KATHLEEN: When everything looks like it's at a standstill and you don't know if you're coming or going, just say this, this is what it looks like when all this is coming together because there is that point, we don't know what's happening around us in the ethers that is coming towards us. We don't know that an action we took is not bringing the right person to help us in the next step of our journey.

KATHLEEN: We don't know that we might get an email from somebody or you might inherit money, who knows? All that is because you're moving in that direction and that's where the miracles come from is you're doing the work and they look like they're miracles when they're really not, it's just what it is.

KATHLEEN: There is also a law of gestation. When you are aligned with your dream, it will manifest. It is the journey of your becoming that creates the end result and accomplishes your dream. When your vibration matches the frequency of your dream, it will manifest.

KATHLEEN: Every change you make in your thinking and doing brings you closer to the vibration of your dream. You create it in your mind first. You live as that person and take whatever steps you can and listen to your intuition. It is up to you how long it will take.

KATHLEEN: We are masters at living in doom and gloom and really know how to manifest it. Since our mind does not know the difference between reality and imagination, I decided to try an experiment. I took a worst case scenario and really lived and felt it. You know, the one living in a buick down by the river when your life is gone to hell. And there is no way out.

KATHLEEN: Once I felt every bit of that fear of failure and terror, I turned my mind around. I visualized my life full of happiness, love and doing what I love for work. And to my surprise and no surprise, an amazing thing happened. The positive visualization moved faster into reality because I lived through the negative. I found a motivation to move forward fast.

KATHLEEN: Ideas were coming in and I allowed the universe to help. When I talk about with this is in 2011, everything was changing in my life and it wasn't good.

KATHLEEN: In 2011, my mother had passed away. I wasn't working. I didn't have any money coming in and I was reaching out to friends of mine and telling them that I could do various things besides what I was doing for a living, I could do other things and I was trying to find some way to make work happen and nothing happened. I had to contact somebody to help me with my utilities.

KATHLEEN: They didn't get turned off. I had to call them and I called to see if I could get rent assistance at that time as well. They told me that the only time I can ask for rent assistance is when I'm just about ready to be thrown out of my home. I was, whoa, none of that made any sense to me, but it's what it was.

KATHLEEN: I was very depressed and very scared. What I had to do and what I did do was I visualized. I sat on my couch and I visualized what I wanted and how I wanted my life to be. I wanted, I visualized the work, I visualized the money. I visualized who I wanted to be and really got into it and don't think for five seconds that my paradigms weren't coming in about how worthless I was.

KATHLEEN: What am I doing? Sitting there on the couch when I should be out there working at some place for $6 an hour, which would never pay my bills. I didn't really have any bills other than housing expenses. I had rent and utilities. That was the extent of my monthly bills. When you don't have any money, you don't have any money.

KATHLEEN: I sat there and I dealt with it. I was grieving to, with my mother's death because that was a whole new experience of dealing with. I did not know what death, especially your mother. Thank God we only have one mother because to ever go through that a second time. Oh God. I don't know if I could get through it a second time. It was horrible.

KATHLEEN: Spirit ended up coming in because I do sound therapy and they actually told me to get into the tub because I had a jetted tub and take the tuning forks and essential oils and all that and do it.

KATHLEEN: I did and what ended up happening when I put the fork on the water, my whole brain went all the way across because I was rewiring my brain and that really helped to get me into another place.

KATHLEEN: I was working at a Medi spa, but it was only part-time and then all of a sudden my environmental work started coming in and I was making a couple of $100 every time I did a clearance. Really starting to make me feel better. Work was coming in and I kept visualizing who I wanted to be, how I wanted to be what I wanted to do for living.

KATHLEEN: Within the next 6 to 8 months. I was close to almost $100,000. I went from zero from nothing to almost $100,000 because I visualized who I wanted to be.

KATHLEEN: I created that and I put all of those paradigms aside because I wasn't the person they were saying I was, I knew better. I knew I could create something different and I did so I shocked myself.

KATHLEEN: That was one of the first times that I realized how much power we do have. When I bought my houses, I knew I could get through it. You go up a different level, so to speak. Life still happens, ups and downs still occur. They are not what they once were.

KATHLEEN: Once you change your paradigms and use these tools, you move through your changes faster, your burning desire for the life you would love to live will keep you uncomfortable and you will have to make change your new friend.

KATHLEEN: If you are really tired of the ups and downs money coming and going and it happens to everyone but me, by practicing these tools every day, you will discover a whole new you and you become the master of your destiny. It took me a long time to learn the meaning.

KATHLEEN: It is not the destiny, it is the journey, this is who you become in the process. I'm telling you, it took me a long time to learn that because I wanted to keep going on to the next and never really stopped long enough to see. Well, how am I changing to be that new person?

KATHLEEN: We are here to learn, we are here to evolve. We are here to discover what our potential is and keep growing until we transition, sitting on the couch watching TV, doing drugs is not learning.

KATHLEEN: Here is something to think about.

KATHLEEN: John was born in 1975.

KATHLEEN: He died in 2005 and was buried in 2050.

KATHLEEN: Don't be that person.

KATHLEEN: We are all spiritual beings having a human experience. We are here to grow, to learn to love and to support each other.

KATHLEEN: If you want your world to change, then you have to change yourself first. Who cares if you lose people along the way? That is part of life. Not everyone is going to be with you on this journey.

KATHLEEN: They are here to give us messages and to move on.

KATHLEEN: The truth is people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

KATHLEEN: If you reflect on that relationship, you will know why. All people are gifts regardless of how they treat you.

KATHLEEN: Those are some of the hardest lessons to learn. But they are your greatest teachers.

KATHLEEN: Think back when that difficult person was in your life. Remember all those emotions that you were wrapped around. Remember all those?

KATHLEEN: Looking back, can you see the gift that was given to you?

KATHLEEN: The same goes for love regardless if it lasted or not?

KATHLEEN: Now, take this one step further. What was the gift that you gave someone?

KATHLEEN: What was the gift you gave to your antagonist? Really look at this from their perspective, you have value and you have gifts as well. It is not a one sided world.

KATHLEEN: You have to do the work. Nothing comes to you until you change yourself first.

KATHLEEN: Nothing comes to you until you change the thoughts about yourself. We think negatively a lot of times about ourselves. It's easier to beat ourselves up than to look at the good and the value that we have inside. But staying consistent on your change on changing yourself will accelerate your growth, your wealth and your knowledge.

KATHLEEN: You are not a victim to your circumstances. Yes, you were programmed but you don't have to keep what you learned as children to prevent you from having the life you would love to live. It is up to each and every one of you to look inside and find what is not working.

KATHLEEN: The hardest question I ever had to answer was what do you want?

KATHLEEN: We all know what we don't want but how many of you know what it is you actually want? All those dreams you had as a child? Are you living them or were you told they were a pipe dream?

KATHLEEN: You can have those dreams but it is up to you to reconnect with yourself. It is up to you to do the work. Is it gonna be easy? Hell no, but it is worth it.

KATHLEEN: You are tougher than you think you are. You are capable of doing far more than you think you can. You are an amazing being and you have to remember who you are and go for it.

KATHLEEN: You are worthy of the best life has to offer. You are deserving of all good things. You are loved beyond your comprehension. And most importantly, you are never ever alone. You just have to listen and act on it, trust yourself, believe in yourself because I believe in you and you can do it.

KATHLEEN: When I wrote this was about how much I had changed because for a long time, I was thinking, OK, how did I get here? What did I do to get here? The biggest thing was really looking at paradigms. When I first started looking at the paradigms, there was a lot, there was a lot.

KATHLEEN: I remember when I was taking my business online because the internet was starting to come into full swing. I was sitting there and I didn't have any money, I was learning how work through the algorithms of internet marketing and all of that kind of stuff, even though I did, it changed after a year.

KATHLEEN: The one thing that came up to me was really amazing was that my mother always said you need to work to pay your bills. Well, I got that, I lived that for a long time that I was working to pay my bills. Well, I didn't have any bills. I had none. I had zero bills and I had no money. When I realized that that paradigm was, oh my God, I have to change that.

KATHLEEN: I want money because I want money. Money makes life a little bit easier. It's not the root of all evil because I had to look at money being dirty and ugly and the root of all evil and sins and whatever else. All that Catholic stuff that I went through and those were some of the biggest, deepest, hardest paradigms to go through.

KATHLEEN: Then I discovered that my relationship with my father, which is non-existent. I had to learn to forgive that man. That was not an easy thing to do. As I was working through paradigms, it's how we say when we're changing, it's like we're peeling the layer of the onion.

KATHLEEN: Eventually, you get to the core of the onion and you start looking at the really deep rooted stuff that's in your way. I did a lot of work with my father and people that had hurt me and harmed me along the way. I would write whatever I felt.

KATHLEEN: Then I would burn it and transform it into the ethers so I could move on because I realized that forgiveness was another big factor that kept me from moving forward. I get my anger at that point, I was working through it, but it wasn't enough yet because my anger still kept me protected. My whole thing was always wanting to stay protected.

KATHLEEN: As I started moving and growing and changing, the more I started to realize, I don't need my anger to protect me anymore because it was one of a big defense mechanism. I think one of the reasons why I had so much anger aside from what happened as a child, but my parents were very angry people as well.

KATHLEEN: I picked up on all that anger. I had to get rid of what wasn't mine. I remember I had my grandmother, I'm very intuitive and psychic, I remember doing a meditation once and I saw my grandmother's life. I had no idea that she was a battered woman and she was because my mother confirmed it.

KATHLEEN: She had lost pregnancies. I saw death in her home that she lived in. My mother told me that she had miscarried, I think once or twice. Then I could feel that there were angels all around her as well. This is what I was picking up as a little kid. I didn't understand that, but I took on my grandmother's pain as well.

KATHLEEN: I remember when I realized that it's, oh my God, this is going back for generations now. I didn't know the word paradigm yet. I didn't hear that word. I didn't understand it, but I was realizing that I was taking on so much stuff for my family. Aside from working through my own garbage, I had to work through theirs and get rid of that.

KATHLEEN: As soon as I got rid of the generational stuff and realize that my grandmother, this was her life. This is what she chose. She died. She was at peace when she died. That was all that mattered is she was at peace. It broke my heart when she died because I really love my grandmother.

KATHLEEN: I had to realize that whatever was in her life wasn't my life. Whatever was in my mother's life wasn't my life. Yes, did I create some of the men from my father. Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, I did all of that and I see mannerisms of my mother and me and all of that and what do you do? It's what it is.

KATHLEEN: The whole point was is that I needed to understand who I was and find me in that because our paradigms topple in on top of us and we lose sight of who we are. When we can start breaking through those paradigms, we start discovering who we are that we are that spiritual being, having a human experience, we are bigger than we think we are.

KATHLEEN: We are grander than we are. We are love beyond all comprehension. Those are the things that as you start moving through paradigms, you start seeing the bigger picture of you and that's what makes this change exciting regardless of how fearful you feel at the time. That's the ego trying to take control of your life.

KATHLEEN: The main thing about discovering your paradigms is it still comes down to that desire of you wanting to be a better person. I know that we all have, we do certain things, we do things habitually. We were unconscious, 99% of the time in our life. When we remain unconscious, nothing changes.

KATHLEEN: It's a very strong conscious effort of being in the present moment. That's why when I talked about the alignment tools a couple of weeks ago, that is one way to stay present is how are you feeling right now? What is the observation of how you're feeling?

KATHLEEN: Right now what I'm noticing is if something is coming up for me and I can feel it. I'm reading this book, The Optimist Creed, which is a very powerful huge book. Of course, this book was written around the 19 twenties thirties somewhere in there and it talks about mastering yourself and that's what I'm wanting to do.

KATHLEEN: I don't want my emotions to run my life. I don't want my anger to run my life. I don't want frustration to run my life and I want to do things differently because when you start mastering yourself, you don't have to control anything because things start flowing naturally.

KATHLEEN: Yes, you're still going to be human, you're still gonna feel what you're gonna feel. But it doesn't mean you have to give it any power. Right now, my biggest thing that I'm wanting to do is how do I do things differently than what I'm used to doing.

KATHLEEN: It's one thing when I start getting frustrated and I can be quiet and still, but it's, I'm struggling with people right now with, communication and I don't want to come off and be that nasty bitchy, angry person. I want to find a different way. I'm not sure, but this is a good thing.

KATHLEEN: I want to do this and I'm really looking for whatever this is because I want to be in total control of my life all the time. I don't want situations or circumstances to upset me and I'm getting really good at that because we have been in amazing downpours of rain here in Colorado and we are not designed for this kind of rain.

KATHLEEN: My crawl space is a swamp right now in my basement. It has been for the whole month of May and now starting June. I'm trying to get the water out of my crawl space and it's frustrating and I'm not gonna let it affect me.

KATHLEEN: I rather put my head in the sand and not deal with it, but we finally found a solution that we think we can do to get the water out because what we're doing isn't working. The water's coming up from underneath because there's so much water.

KATHLEEN: I'm not going to think about it right now. Put it out to the universe. This is a problem. I don't know how to deal with it. I'm not sure what to do with this right now. I know what I need to do, but I'm not sure how to do it. Yesterday we came up with a solution and we're going to address it so we can get the swamp plan.

KATHLEEN: It really is a swamp land down there. I'm, oh my God, it makes me crazy. What do you do? You know? I just figure, ok, well, it's what it is, it's life, it's happening. I don't have to be affected by it. I don't have to get angry about it. I don't have to be frustrated about it.

KATHLEEN: It's sucks. That's the bottom line. It sucks and move on. It doesn't have to affect my mood.

KATHLEEN: That's the main thing I think when I started moving through a lot of my paradigms is really seeing the beauty of who I am and that I do have a voice and I do have something to say and I am getting funnier because I was told, I used to be really funny when I was a little kid and I didn't know that because I stopped that a long time ago. I'm enjoying life more because I've moved through this.

KATHLEEN: I don't have to have this heavy downtrodden doom and gloom kind of thing or singing songs of all Doom and Gloom and woe is me kind of thing because that's not how I feel. I have lived my life that most people don't even understand to the extent of how I've lived my life. I don't really care.

KATHLEEN: I have followed Spirit my whole life and I have trusted in Spirit my whole life. Aas I'm moving through this life I didn't get into the corporate job or the 3.2 kids and the white picket fence. I didn't go down that road. I didn't want that road.

KATHLEEN: I didn't like the idea of that road because my attitude has always been, you're here to experience life. How do you experience life? You change, you keep changing, you keep evolving, you keep discovering who you are in the process.

KATHLEEN: The more that I have made that conscious decision to be a better person to change how I operate in the world to come from a different place of an open heart, which that was another huge story to open your heart is very, very hard. I chose to do that because all of this meant I would just be better and the people that I admire the most always seem to be smiling and glowing.

KATHLEEN: I wanna look like that. I wanna look like that because there's, what's your secret? You know, it's like that and it's no secret. It's that they were growing and changing and evolving into being a better person and living the life that they wanted to live and create the world that they wanted to create.

KATHLEEN: That's the power that each and every one of us have is that even if the world is falling apart, that doesn't mean it's your world, your world is what you want it to be. I have a world full of love and Joy and happiness regardless of a swampy basement.

KATHLEEN: I have that world and that's what I live by. That's what I focus on and that's what I stay in touch with. You can do the same thing as well.

KATHLEEN: Next week I'm going to be talking about the attitude of gratitude. There's a little workbook we're gonna go through. You can start creating more gratitude in your life.